1) I honored thy mother and father. In moments of crisis, I feel like I stepped up for my family. I did some intense thinking, praying, soul searching and attempted to do what was best for my family regarding many things, and also had to consider what was best for me in the process. It wasn't always easy, and at times I felt like I was failing in general, or failing certain people specifically. But in the end, I feel like I would do it all over again, the same way. I tried to be present for those who needed me and I tried to be fair to everyone, including myself. It didn't always appear that way to everyone involved, but I absolutely did the best I could. I felt guilty at times because I knew that my choices (no matter what I did) were going to hurt someone. But do I believe that God would condemn me for my choices? Nope, and that is how I am content with where I've gone with my decisions.
2) My only true calling in this life so far is to be a mother and wife, though I am very imperfect in this role (to put it lightly). Everything else is secondary. I do not feel I was put on this earth to be an admin worker, a purchasing agent, sales person, software consultant, etc. In no other role or job that I've had in my life have ever I tried as hard as I do with being a mother and wife, or been paid less. I fail daily, but I will never be the perfect parent and I am definitely not the perfect wife. I recognize this only because I found myself failing in other ways because I was being so hard on myself for my shortcomings. My main job right now is to be a mother to my children, and that's difficult because I've only done this for a short amount of time, when I had very different roles for decades, leading up to this. I'm still learning, but it's one of the few singular things I'm passionate about in this moment that I actually have direct control over. I've tried to learn to forgive myself when I recognize I could've handled something better. I am working to find an identity outside of my kids but these 2 roles are pretty important and I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be.
(Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.)
(Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.)
3) I have loved thy neighbor. There isn't much I haven't said with regard to social and political issues, and I consider this whole realm to be one. I think I've spoken up on most pressing issues and most of the important people in my life understand and respect where I stand (I hope, regardless of whether they agree with me or not). I've made sure that there is no question of how I feel regarding issues of race, sexual preference, religion, freedom of choice, refugees, immigration, the 2nd amendment and all that it responsibly entails, etc. Sometimes, it has been to the detriment of relationships, but I feel like most of these issues are more than "just politics". We are talking about peoples' lives. HUMANITY. I accept all people who lead their lives in a way that brings light, not darkness. If you life your life in a way that brings others down, you and I won't probably won't mesh. And that's okay. My eyes have been opened to so many different perspectives and opinions, some more disappointing than others (because who doesn't wish we all agreed when we feel we are right), but I have learned so much regardless. I recognize that there are people that who do not look like me, who do love worship like me, who do not love like me, who do not speak like me, or live like me. But we are all equal and deserving of the same rights here in this country, and all over the world as far as that goes.
4) There's no bible verse or commandment for this: I am sarcastic to a fault. Most of my friends understand this love language of mine, but it does get me into trouble. It is hard to reign it in, and a lot of times it ends up being a defense mechanism, and most often, it is used to highlight irony (i.e. - casting stones, etc). Unfortunately, there are times that it is read as arrogance (and I apologize for that - it is certainly not my intention) For those that know me know that I am only confident that I feel deeply. I am a very emotional person, but I admit that it doesn't always make me right. It's something that I work on daily, but if you find yourself in an emotional conversation with me, where things are getting tense, the first thing to recognize is that I am passionate about the way I feel. Just because you do not agree with me, does not make me wrong. It also doesn't make me right, but regardless of where you stand on that, you need to know that I'm feeling some kinda way about it. I recognize that being so emotional isn't always seen as a positive, but if you at all appreciate and value the relationship that we have (no matter how small the relationship seems), recognizing when I feel a certain way about a subject is important because you can be sure that I am not being flippant about it. At all. I'm trying to do better about how I present my perspective, so I hope that others also try to simply listen.
5) Even considering these challenges and self-revelations, they do not hold a candle to the real challenges of the world. Like those humans in the world that are attempting to save their own families' lives by fleeing their country, those humans who are being abused daily by both strangers and people that they love, those humans that don't have the financial stability to eat proper meals (or eat anything at all), those humans that do not have a home or a place to safely lay their heads at night, those humans who have lost a child through no fault of their own, or senselessly lost a child due to violence of any kind, or lost a child through sickness due to not having the appropriate access to healthcare to prevent such tragedy, those humans who have to have conversations with their children daily about the mean people in this world who do not see their value due to the color of their skin, their gender, or their religion. Through all of my so-called strife, I am so, so lucky that I cannot claim such challenges in my life.
I struggle with this verse : Psalm 34:19 - The righteous person may have troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.
Thanks to social media and technology in general, I see so much suffering daily. I know there are children who are born into suffering, and die due to suffering and I can't even begin to imagine the in-between. The only point at which they are delivered from their suffering is when they leave this cruel world. So why? Why do they have to be born into such an awful world, only to die in such terrible circumstances? I have no answers, but when I see such trivial arguments about rights to own a semi-automatic weapon when there are children dying of starvation, murder, rape, etc, I can't help but get angry and sad with the differences in worldly views.
I was reminded by a very close friend this week to always remember to find the grace in all situations. If you are being angered by someone, just remember they could be going through something terrible that you know nothing about. Find the grace. BE the grace that people need in their lives. We all need it.
5) Even considering these challenges and self-revelations, they do not hold a candle to the real challenges of the world. Like those humans in the world that are attempting to save their own families' lives by fleeing their country, those humans who are being abused daily by both strangers and people that they love, those humans that don't have the financial stability to eat proper meals (or eat anything at all), those humans that do not have a home or a place to safely lay their heads at night, those humans who have lost a child through no fault of their own, or senselessly lost a child due to violence of any kind, or lost a child through sickness due to not having the appropriate access to healthcare to prevent such tragedy, those humans who have to have conversations with their children daily about the mean people in this world who do not see their value due to the color of their skin, their gender, or their religion. Through all of my so-called strife, I am so, so lucky that I cannot claim such challenges in my life.
I struggle with this verse : Psalm 34:19 - The righteous person may have troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.
Thanks to social media and technology in general, I see so much suffering daily. I know there are children who are born into suffering, and die due to suffering and I can't even begin to imagine the in-between. The only point at which they are delivered from their suffering is when they leave this cruel world. So why? Why do they have to be born into such an awful world, only to die in such terrible circumstances? I have no answers, but when I see such trivial arguments about rights to own a semi-automatic weapon when there are children dying of starvation, murder, rape, etc, I can't help but get angry and sad with the differences in worldly views.
I was reminded by a very close friend this week to always remember to find the grace in all situations. If you are being angered by someone, just remember they could be going through something terrible that you know nothing about. Find the grace. BE the grace that people need in their lives. We all need it.
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