FOUR

🎤There's only one thing, two do, three words FOUR youuuuuu... I love you. 

- Plain White T's                     

#idontthinkicankeepupthisthememuchlonger

We are halfway through chemotherapy treatment!  FOUR treatments done!  I know you are probably thankful you don't have to read these cheesy song references much longer. 😉  Mom is currently sleeping, or trying to sleep.  While the rooms are private, the hallways tend to be loud and the rooms don't have doors (only curtains), so getting a solid nap is pretty difficult.  Benadryl helps a little - she's definitely drowsy enough to sleep, but like I said.. constant noise, and doors closing (slamming), people talking, etc.  That's probably my ONLY complaint about this facility.  Because clearly, it's all about me. 💁

So, mom had her big Vegas trip since her last treatment and she had a great time.  Honestly, she said she felt pretty terrible the first 2-3 days that she was there, but after that, she said it was like flipping a switch and side effects were mostly minimal.  She also said that with each treatment, it progressively gets worse.  She knows what to expect now, but the "sick" feeling is more pronounced each time.  Since this is her last treatment with these 2 drugs, we're hoping that the side effects with the next 2 maybe won't be as bad.  The Dr can't really say though because everyone reacts differently, but he anticipates much of the same.  One good thing is that instead of the 7-8 hour infusion we've been having, the next 4 treatments should take half that much time to infuse, if that.  So that's good news!  It makes for a really long day here at the Treatment Center.

But, back to her Vegas trip - she didn't hit any big jackpots, but she had a great time with the cousins.  It's her favorite vacation spot (besides laying on the beach, somewhere tropical), so even though she was feeling badly the first few days, I knew there weren't many places she'd rather be!  I was relieved that she felt confident enough to have some time away that didn't involve her treatments.

Debbie sent me this picture of Mama that I love.  I have no doubt that there were people swarming around inside the Bellagio, but this picture looks so tranquil, like she's the only person there..  and she looks so happy. 💞

It's Easy As 1, 2, 3...

🎤  Simple as do, re, mi... A, B, C.. 1, 2, 3.. baby you and me, girrrl.. #newopeningnumber

via GIPHY

Chemo treatment #3 is under way and she's her normal happy-go-lucky self.  Maybe a little more loopy than "normal," since that benadryl is now kicking in. 👍🍷

Her last treatment went as expected - no huge happenings.  The side effects snuck up on her a little faster than the previous treatment and she experienced nausea 24 hours after her treatment ended.  She was able to fight it off with a zofran and didn't need to take anything for nausea anymore after that.

She still experienced the same side effects from last time too - body/muscle/joint pain (often rather intense and lasted for a while), numbness (neuropathy) in fingers and hands (lasting longer than last time), and gastro-intestinal issues (but not as bad as last time).  So, I'd say that she managed it all much better than the first treatment, so that's progress! 💪 After this treatment, she has 1 more with these 2 chemo drugs, and then she gets 2 new chemo drugs for 4 more cycles (every 3 weeks), with her last treatment being on December 20th (Merry Christmas to us! 🎄🎅).

We met with the radiation oncologist today (we've had appointments allll morning, only to have chemo alllll afternoon and not finishing up until 9pm or so tonight) and discussed different survival rates associated with mom's particular type of breast cancer, based on lumpectomy + radiation vs mastectomy.  In summary, we are more than likely looking at the "generous" lumpectomy approximately 2-3 weeks after her last chemo treatment.  Then radiation 2-3 weeks following her surgery.  The radiation would be 5 days/week for approximately 5-6 weeks.  

Mom will have some decisions to make as we get closer to the radiation portion.  She would need to be here in GA for almost all of those 5-6 weeks and that can be tricky considering how mom helps take Grandmama and Grandaddy to all of their various appointments.  Also, we feel better when we can have someone staying with Grandmama these days just because you never know (shoutout to mom's cousin, Angie who has been keeping Grandmama company while we travel to ATL! 🙌 ).  Grandmama's health is okay, but if she were to fall or something completely random were to happen, she would be in a bind if mom is gone for days at a time.  It's just a lot to consider, but we like the idea of mom getting her radiation here, simply because we feel they offer the best care.  

So, that's where we are for now.  We hope that the rest of the journey goes as smooth as it has gone so far.  Mom gets to go to Vegas next week with her cousins, and is SO excited to be able to travel for fun, instead of chemo!  Send up some prayers and let the positive vibes flow that the side effects remain mild with no complications, so that she can get some relaxing time away from the current reality!

#ispywithmylittleeye 👳😉

     

2 down, 6 to go!

🎤Guess who's back.. back again.. mama's back.. tell a friend  (#sorrynotsorry if you don't get the rap reference 💅).  

We're back at the treatment center outside of ATL (Newnan), getting chemo treatment #2.  Mom's first treatment went well, but the side effects were a little jarring.  Mom was mainly worried about nausea and vomiting, but she experienced none of that!  Yay! 🎉  But on day 3, the joint/muscle pain and body aches made her miserable.  She said she hurt from her scalp all the way to her toes, and that it felt like body aches from the flu x 10.. and that it hurt to even just touch her skin.  I spoke to her by phone one day when she was just starting to feel a little better with regard to the aches and she said she hurt so bad that she just wanted to "waller" all over("waller" is a mama term, for sure 😂).  That lasted for a couple days and the doctor called and prescribed some meds for "wanting to waller" and it quickly got better. 👍😜


The only other true side effect (and to mom, it was the worst) was the gastro-intestinal issue that took 2 weeks to resolve (I'll spare you the emoji).  But once she got that worked out, she says she felt pretty good.  We are going to take some precautions this time around to where we can either keep that from being a problem or it not be as bad.  And by "we," I mean Mama obviously.  Not much I can do in that department! 😬


Her hair began falling out in clumps last week (as we expected), so it wasn't a shock.  We spent a few days at the beach over the weekend and we decided to go ahead and shave it in front of the kids so that they weren't shocked when mom suddenly had no hair.  I feel like them seeing me shave her head really helped the process.  Millie held the trashcan as I shaved off huge clumps and put them in.  She said "Thank you" every time I put more in it and seemed totally unphased by it.  Chase was his normal busy-body self and didn't really pay much attention, but he sure gave mom a good once-over when I was finished.

*disclaimer: this is not actual footage of Chase*

Fortunately though, he didn't hesitate to go to his AnnaAnna when it was all said and done. 😍 It was a relief because Chase wanted nothing to do with me last week, and all I did was come home with bangs! 😳 #notfeelingthelove


We had a check-up with the oncologist today.  He performed a physical exam and we are happy to report that he was NOT able to locate the lump anymore just by feeling around!  Great news! 🙌🙌🙌🙌  No ultrasound was performed but the doctor was obviously pleased with that assessment alone! #fightinglikeamother 💁


Overall, mom is and has been in great spirits, and has mostly remained her normal, jovial self through it all so far! 👯  I could tell when she didn't feel well though as I called to check in daily. 😔  I hate being so far away, but I'm so grateful for friends like Brookes, who took her and Grandmama enough food for an army during the worst of it.  Jessica and her mom also stopped by one day to visit, and brought them some Krispy Kreme doughnuts and some flowers.  Mom's sister-cousin, Debbie, came and checked on her and brought her favorite Bojangles' meal, and they've had several visitors popping in and out periodically.  It's been really refreshing, and that's not even counting the people that have so generously offered to bring meals or do whatever they can to help.  We're just trying to space it all out, since we have 6 more months of somewhat uncertainty.  I don't want to use up all of our help in one treatment!  So, again - thank you all for all of the support through cards, messages, meals, visits, and offering to help watch the kids while I come with Mom.  I can't imagine her coming here by herself, even though she has assured me she could do it(and I'm sure she could).  But I don't see a reason to have her do that, if I can get it worked out to be here with her.  So thanks to everyone that helps so that I don't have to imagine her doing it alone!! 💗💗💗

#stronglikemom💪

Just For Fun... Still mom-themed though!

How well do you know your mom? 

1. She is sitting in front of the TV, what is she watching? Today Show, or whatever happens to be on because she's not really watching it anyway.

2. What dressing does she eat on her salad? Bleu Cheese?

3. Name something she hates? People not driving "correctly", or having to wait.

4. What does she like to drink? water or sweet tea or 2 cups of coffee in the morning

5. Favorite music to listen too? Just about everything... you should see her walking/dancing playlist!

6. What is her nickname for you? I don't think I have one?  HaleyJ, maybe? 

7. What is something she collects? Gambling cards😂

8. What would she eat every day if she could? Fried chicken! 

9. What is her favorite color? purple😬

10. What would she never wear? leggings... she says she looks like a stuffed sausage!  (she doesn't) 

11. What is her favorite sports team? NC State whatever for obvious reasons.. 💁😂

12. What is something that you don't do that she wishes you did? Whatever it is I'm doing at the time... I'm probably not doing it right!

13. You bake her a cake, what is it? Chocolate cake, or cream cheese pound cake.

14. Favorite animal? Outside ones 🤷🏼‍♀️

15. What could she spend all day doing if she could? reading at the beach

16. Who is her favorite child? Point of contention!  No comment! (🙋)

17. What's her favorite sweet? Krispy Kreme doughnuts! 

18. How many brothers & sisters does she have? 1 brother

19. Favorite alcoholic drink? a SHAKEN bay breeze, preferably made by Brookes!

20. You're in jail & you call her, what is her response? "Oh my lord!"

1 Chemo down, 7 to go!

We got back to mom's house last night LATE, around midnight.  It was a very long day, but mom did great!  Unfortunately, with the 2 chemo drugs she's getting in the first 4 cycles, her chemo days will be long (like 8 hours) since she's only getting treatment every 3 weeks.  So, she's not looking forward to that, since we thought that after the first treatment, they would be around 3-4 hours long.  But really, I didn't think it was so bad.  They have a TV in the room and you have plenty of channels to choose from, or you can watch movies.  Mom was feeling the benadryl, so the first 2-3 hours she mainly slept on and off.  Then they brought her lunch, and I went down to the dining hall and got lunch and her a piece of cake (because, chemo = guilt free cake 🎂).

The recliner she gets to sit in is very comfy and has heat and a massager on it (hayyyy 💃💃).  She didn't use it, but as she becomes less of a newbie, I think it could come in handy for relaxing.  They also have a nice balcony she can go sit on, and roll her little IV cart out there with her.  For safety reasons, she wasn't allowed to do it on her first treatment, but she'll be able to mosy on out there the next time if she wants to.

She had to go to the restroom A LOT, because of all the fluids they were pumping.  They forgot to tell her about that, so the dozen or so trips caught her off guard.  To be extra careful, when she does use the restroom, she has to flush twice when she's done so there's no remaining drugs from bodily fluids in the toilet when the next person comes in.  Also, if you're not receiving chemo and go to the restroom in the infusion department, they suggest you flush once before you sit, so you're not in danger of any trace of the chemo drugs coming into contact with you.  I find it interesting that the drugs they're pumping into mom by the bagful, they don't even want them grazing non-patients due to safety reasons.  Kind of amazing how powerful they must be, and scary at the same time.

Once they were done flushing her port, we were able to leave.  We grabbed a bite to eat in the dining hall and then waited for the shuttle to the airport.  Our flight was delayed at the very last minute (and I do mean that -- we were already on the plane, and then we sat there because they were messing with the cargo area, and then we had to wait our turn to take off).  So we were about an hour delayed.

I put on Facebook this morning that I saw Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery) from Downton Abbey on our flight last night (I talked to Sammy Watkins of the Buffalo Bills briefly in the security line last week).  It took me the entire flight to figure out where I knew her from.  I kept thinking that I must've known her from high school since she looked so familiar and was heading to Wilmington.  But then her British accent gave it away as she walked by me after we landed and it clicked.  I don't get to sit next to mom on the flights usually, so mom told me that apparently, she sat next to her.  That was after mom greeted her by saying "Hey, you're in my seat."  😂 Mom went on to say that she wasn't very talkative (you don't say 🤔).  I told mom that she probably couldn't understand her country twang.  Anyways, it was just a funny story.  I'm just sorry I stared at the girl for an eternity trying to figure out how I knew her.  That would've creeped me out.  My bad. 🙋

Today, we got up and mom went through her normal morning routine with her 2 cups of coffee, but she said she had a headache that was kind of a nuisance and she felt jittery and anxious.  She did say that she felt a little better once she got something on her stomach, other than coffee.  She said she wanted to try to go walk because the oncologist stressed that keeping up her daily activity was important (and to maybe even try to do more if she felt good enough).  But, we were just taking baby steps.  So I went with her to walk the loop, like she does every morning.  We walked a little slower than normal, but she did great.  We also figured that the amount of sweating that she did was probably good for her, to try to get those drugs out of her system.  She said she felt sluggish but that is understandable considering the last 2 days and everything her body is currently experiencing from the port insertion and the chemo.

After that, we went to grab a bite to eat and saw my bestie at their restaurant (shameless plug for Bill's Front Porch Pub and Brewery 🍻.. check it out if you're in Wilmington).  It was just nice to be in a familiar place.  We went and got her prescription to combat any nausea she might have in the future so that she's ready if those side effects do creep up on her.  I'm only telling y'all all of this so you can see that she's doing normal activities and not bedridden (so far... knock on wood).  She got in a short nap after that and then my brother came to visit, and I left to get back to Craig and my babies.

I checked in with her tonight once I was home and she said all was well, and she was still feeling okay.  I can tell she's tired though.  We didn't sleep much while we were gone and last night wasn't much better since we got back so late.  Thanks to everyone who has been asking how she's doing and checking in!  We hate that these circumstances are the reason, but it's been so heart-warming to see how many people care about our mama.  Really, the smallest gestures have meant the world.  So, again.. thank you! 💞

Chemo #1

Mom got her port put in yesterday and it went very well.  I met with the surgeon after he was done, and he said he was able to attach the port catheter to the small vein.  If they hadn't been able to do that, they would've had to go behind the collarbone to get to the "big one", and when you do that, you risk puncturing a lung.  So we were happy to have avoided that possibility.  Other than slight soreness and being tired, she said she felt great!

This morning we got here just before 7am and mom got her blood drawn to check all her levels and whatnot before we start chemo.  Both her and the RN have to wear masks for now as her port is being accessed since it is so new.  They do not want ANY germs near it.  Mom is so funny when she gets her blood drawn or anything that might hurt a bit.  Before they even touch her, she's all "oowie, oowie, oowie, oowie, oowie."  The RNs are so confused but they can't help but laugh.

Yes, that was mom being surprised at the end that I didn't pass out.  Sometimes I'm probably a questionable choice for caregiver. 😬

All of her labs have come back great and she's currently getting her pre-meds (benadryl, steroid, etc) to try to combat some of the side effects she may experience.  This first treatment they will administer very slowly, so as to not overwhelm her body.  This will likely take 6 or 7 hours once we start the actual chemo.  After that, we will get discharged and head to the airport around 7pm to catch our 9:35pm flight. 😩 It wouldn't be so bad except our last 2 flights have been delayed 1.5 to 3 hours and it makes an already long day very long.  I think next time we are going to try to come in the morning of her chemo, stay that night, and come back the next morning, assuming we can get it all worked out with her appointments and the scheduler.

Currently, mom is starting to ramble as the benadryl starts to set in.  It's funny.  She's starting to slur and her eyes are so heavy.  But she swears she's not tired.  Now she has the giggles and can't stop laughing.  Gonna be an interesting day, folks! 😉 Cheers to her first treatment! 👍🍻 #becausemamaisacouplemargaritasaheadofusall 

  

Mom's Diagnosis

**This is SO long... sorry for the novel!

The month started out well.  It's always fun when there's a holiday, and we lightly celebrated with neighbors and the pool, etc for the 4th of July.  Then July 5th happened.  My mom got a phone call from the surgeon that biopsied a lump she found before her most recent mammogram.  We were hoping it was something along the lines of scar tissue, a cyst, a lost butterbean that somehow escaped her esophagus on the way to her stomach... basically ANYTHING but the word cancer.  But, people get cancer every day.  It's not something you can choose, and mom certainly didn't choose to spend her retirement this way.  So, we fight and we keep going. 

She texted my brother and me the next morning, as we knew she was waiting to hear from the doctor.  One of the [many] things that upset me was/is thinking about her sitting on that diagnosis ALL night long, not telling anyone.  How scary!  So anyway, she texted us... and when the text starts out telling us not to call her yet, you know it's not good.  She relayed what the surgeon told her and immediately I cry, then begin to google.  Millie was at camp that morning, and Craig headed off to the pool to get an early swim in before work (aka - he was away from his phone).  So it was just me and Chase and I was desperately googling everything I could regarding Triple Negative Invasive Breast Cancer.  Chase obviously had no idea why I was crying, although, you could tell he was confused about the crying role reversal.  The first thing I read about this cancer was that it was aggressive and prone to recurrence.  So, I knew I needed to go to the gym and put him in the nursery there so I could [try to] get a handle on this.  Doing anything else was not an option.  I also knew I would have to tell Craig.  Telling him at the gym was not high on my list, but I knew I couldn't sit on it for 2 hours, while trying to distract Chase and research.

I get to the gym and unload Chase in the nursery and continue researching.  I get a slight grasp on it and begin to get upset again.  So I go into the pool area to find Craig and he knew I was waiting on mom's results.  I stood at the end of his lane and he looked up after finishing his lap, and I just completely lost it.  There in front of countless other people in the pool, I just sobbed.  I told him what I knew and once I settled down, we begin to TRY to formulate some sort of plan.  I was a wreck for the rest of the day, but after a couple days and finally speaking to mom on the phone, we started to get better and begin to focus on getting through it instead of all the "what ifs" that seemed to be staring us in the face.  

The 2nd Opinion: 
I was so worried that mom was going to just stick to whatever her doctors in Wilmington told her and suggested, without consulting outside the area.  The oncologist that she was referred to in Wilmington was so overbooked, that they took 6 business days to call her after she had her diagnosis, and THEN they told her they couldn't get her in until August unless she wanted to drive to Leland to a different office.  It just didn't seem like they cared or that this was a priority, to put it plainly.  That's not the kind of care that I (or my brother) wanted for her.  Not to mention that the surgeon and oncologist that would be leading all of this was a general surgeon and general oncologist -- no real focus on breast cancer, much less this form of cancer.  And I knew without a doubt that if the roles were reversed, she would not want me to settle for that either.  And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with using a general surgeon or oncologist, but I personally like knowing that they specialize in what is wrong with me.  When it could be life and death, I would want the best.  Especially considering the treatment centers that weren't that far away, either by car or plane.  

My step-mother's sister is currently being treated at the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA), and has had nothing but glowing reviews of the center, so I mentioned it to mom and eventually, she said she was ready to hear a 2nd opinion.  So, I began making calls for her.  It has been great so far and they have been beyond accommodating.  They made a terrible situation a lot easier to deal with by taking the burden of the back and forth between insurance companies and several doctors offices for medical records.  Obviously, we felt comfortable with their facility and their treatment plan and agreed to begin right away.  We couldn't think of a reason not to, so we felt like that was a good sign.  And honestly, who wants to wait to treat under these circumstances?


Triple Negative Invasive Breast Cancer:
I won't go into all the details of everything I researched and learned from the 2 oncologists, 2 surgeons, radiation oncologist, and plastic surgeon (and then some) that we saw because the number of tabs I had open on my computer alone, for about a week, likely is not recommended for a smooth operating system...  but what I can tell you in a broad sense is that this form of breast cancer essentially means that the three most common types of receptors known to fuel most breast cancer growth (estrogen, progesterone, and HER-2) are not present in the tumor.  So you are pretty limited in treatment options, which basically consists of chemo, surgery, and radiation in some variation.  

The good: triple negative breast cancer may respond even better to chemotherapy in the earlier stages than many other forms of cancer.  But much of it depends on the stage and grade of the tumor.

Before mom's biopsy on July 3rd, she was a late stage 1, with the tumor size just under 2 cm.  Also consider that the biopsy removes a portion of the tumor when extracted to test after that measurement.  However, when we visited the CTCA outside of ATL (for a 2nd opinion) on July 19th, the breast cancer surgeon performed another ultrasound, and it had grown to 2.7 cm in about 2 weeks time.  Which also meant that she was in a solid stage 2 rather quickly.  So, it grew from less than about 1.9cm (since they took some of it to biopsy) and it grew to 2.7cm in a little over 2 weeks.  Again, aggressive.  We met with the oncologist in ATL, same treatment center, 2 days later and he suggested chemo first for 6 months (8 cycles), then surgery (either "generous" lumpectomy or unilateral mastectomy 2-3 weeks after chemo is done), then most likely radiation 2-3 weeks after that.  So she will get chemo tomorrow, and then every 3 weeks after that for 6 months.  8 total chemo visits.  She will not be remaining here and will fly back and forth from Wilmington to Atlanta for each visit.  Because of mom's insurance (thank goodness she still has BCBS), they pay for mom (and sometimes a caregiver) to fly back and forth for appointments, and they have really cheap rates at nearby hotels for accommodations when needed.

The bad: the tumor is grade 3(poorly differentiated) – the cancer cells look most changed and are usually fast-growing.  People with grade 3 invasive breast cancers are more likely to be offered chemotherapy to help destroy any cancer cells that may have spread as a result of the cancer being faster growing, hence the treatment plan presented by the oncologist.  They have a scale when returning results to determine the grade.  They usually like to see it in the 20s... well, Mom's was in the 70s.  It wasn't what we wanted to hear.

Another thing to consider is the BRCA-1 gene.  My mom's maternal family has a history of testing positive for the BRCA-1 gene when diagnosed with breast cancer.  Two of her 1st cousins and her Aunt all have had breast cancer.  The 2 first cousins tested positive for the gene, but my Aunt was never tested (she had it around 40 years ago and is now 96).  We are waiting to hear back from the genetic testing, but obviously, we wouldn't be surprised if she has it.  If she does, I will likely go get tested myself.  I have no idea what I will do if I test positive, but at least I would know (I guess?).  At any rate, if she turns up positive it might effect the type of surgery post-chemo.  Her choices seem to be a "generous" lumpectomy (+ reconstruction), or a unilateral mastectomy (removing 1 breast + reconstruction).  That is all to be decided later.

All of this has led us to where we are now.  We try to stay away from the dark places that this can easily take us.  We focus on the 80% 5 year survival rate (which I feel is good!) and just do the best we can.  We will trust the doctors, but try not to blindly follow them, and ask plenty of questions if we aren't completely sold on something.  We've had an amazing outpouring of support (especially since the Facebook post) and honestly, it's overwhelming but in the best way possible.  So thank all of you that have prayed, offered kind or uplifting thoughts, offered to chat about your own experiences or experiences of loved ones, offering to help watch Millie and Chase so that I can be here, helping with or checking in on Grandmama, and it goes on and on.  This diagnosis has turned our world upside down, but the support has made the outlook a lot less grim.  Don't hesitate to send mom your favorite wig styles and most bizarre scarf creation.  We sure have had some laughs trying to design mom's "new look." 😉😉😉