Where to Start?

So much has happened since I last updated, it's hard to know where to start. If you'll remember in my last update, I mentioned that mom was having a terrible time walking. She couldn't put any weight on her right leg to get around, and was using a walker all of the time, and a wheelchair when we were going through airports and in ATL. Her primary care physician (PCP) in Wilmington had diagnosed her with bursitis several weeks ago, and given her a shot in her hip, and some anti-inflammatory medication to help with the pain, but NOTHING was giving her relief. They also tried to give her a steroid but that would negate the immunotherapy treatment that she's undergoing, so we refused that medication.

When we last saw the oncologist a couple weeks ago, I begged him to look further, because the PCP's diagnosis of bursitis just didn't make sense anymore. He agreed, but they couldn't fit her in for an MRI until we returned for her next treatment. I tried to get her into a local clinic in Wilmington, but couldn't get it worked out since you can't just walk in somewhere and ask for an MRI and the hoops to jump through were never-ending and by the time, I could've got it worked out - it was time to go to ATL. Long story, but she decided to wait until we went back to ATL last week and an MRI revealed that her hip was actually FRACTURED -- completely in half from what they said the x-ray revealed. It was at the neck of the femur where it meets the socket. It was no wonder, at that point, why she was experiencing so much pain without any relief whatsoever.

So, chemo/immunotherapy was postponed and she was admitted to the hospital that night (Tuesday night), and we waited for 3 days for them to finally get surgery lined up on Friday afternoon. They completely replaced her right hip. She was extremely foggy coming out of that surgery/the anesthesia and we had to recap for her what was going on -- it scared the daylights out of me when she saw us and just started crying! She was so confused, but we got her straightened out. Jeremy was able to come down for a couple days and be with us while we waited for surgery, and it was nice to have someone to eat with and talk to, since mom was resting pretty well with the pain meds they were giving her during those days (hence the humorous Facebook post that prompted a lot of discussion about an unbelievable pimple popping trend that apparently warrants a TV show -- GROSS🙅🙅). Nonetheless, I know she was exhausted after not having any pain relief over the last month. 

I finally came home on Sunday, and her cousin Chris decided to drop in and take my place, to help keep her company while she waited for discharge. I would've stayed longer but Millie started Kindergarten on Monday, and I was quite teary at the thoughts of missing it. I would like to think that all of this going on was a big contributing factor to my being a ball of tears as I walked out of Millie's classroom on Monday... and at drop off the next day, and the next day, but I know for a fact that I was going to be a mess regardless. No sense in blaming it on mom. 😉

Mom was finally discharged yesterday, and sent to a rehab facility close to the Cancer Treatment Center. She will have 3 hrs of rehab a day, and just stay there at the facility to make sure that she is getting all of the help she needs. Especially since I can't be there this week, with Craig traveling for work. I think they have her scheduled to be in the rehab facility for almost 2 weeks, but we're hoping she'll heal quickly and be released sooner so she can continue to get her chemo/immunotherapy treatment. We don't know how this break in treatment will affect things, but we can't control it so there's no need in worrying, I suppose. (But honestly, who are we kidding... I worry over everything. #ownit) 

Mom is also trying to get her strength and energy back, since she hasn't been able to do anything since the pain started on her birthday June 14, of all days. So she's building up her breathing/lung strength again (she gets very winded when she does any sort of activity). We are hoping for a full recovery on all fronts, so that we can get treatment, and life in general, back on track.  Thank you to everyone who caught wind of what's going on and checked in on us and my sanity as we navigated a VERY long week. She's doing well so far in this recovery stage and I hope to get back down there soon to get her to chemo, and back home again. 

We need to get the show on the road because she has a busy agenda that includes grandbabies to play with, who are very eager to see their AnnaAnna (or NanaAnna, to the older grandbabies). My kids are very jealous when they hear I'm with Anna, and constantly ask when they get to come with me. Every.Time. When I FaceTimed with them while I was gone last week, they'd say "MOMMY!! HEY! .... WHERE'S ANNA?!" Well, dang. 😭 But all kidding aside, although that really is exactly what happens and I'm not exaggerating at all, we will be making arrangements very soon to make that reunion happen! Every time I go to her house without the kids, it's so sad to just see their toys put away, and their beds empty. I feel like I'm betraying them by being with the great ANNA without them. Oh well - she was MY Anna first! 😂 #stilllearningtoshare 

**Also, if you plan to leave a comment on THIS blog, please make sure you sign your name with the comments because we can't tell who it's from if you don't! I'd love to relay your well wishes to her and it definitely lifts her spirits! 💞 

2nd Treatment -- 1st Cycle

Medically speaking, this trip was uneventful (which is a good thing). She had her normal check-in with her oncologist, and then chemo/immunotherapy, and we also tried to get her scheduled for an MRI while we were in ATL, but they couldn’t squeeze her in. The MRI is for an issue that she’s having with her hip, since her last treatment. She’s had bursitis in the couple of months preceding her being diagnosed, so when she went to be checked at her PCP, they chalked it up to bursitis again. The problem with that is that none of the treatment seems to be giving her much relief at all(cortisone shot plus meloxicam), and she’s having a lot of trouble walking or getting around at all. She uses a walker almost all of the time at home now, and has been managing with just a cane and wheelchair on this trip. It has been eventful in that respect just because this is the first time mom hasn’t been totally mobile on her own. 

Navigating the airport and riding around in the shuttles were more difficult than our previous trips, just because there’s a lot of her getting up and down, and different paths we have to take due to accessibility — we’ve felt a little out of sorts just because it’s not our normal routine, and we realize now that we need to allow more time to get places. 

Other than that, mom has been feeling pretty good and in good spirits. Everyone has been so nice about checking in on her and helping when possible, especially since I’m 2 hours away — y’all don’t know how much it helps and relieves stress for her and I both! The first few days after the last treatment brought on a lot of body aches and overall unpleasantness, but she seemed to get over that fairly quickly (roughly 4-5 days). The biggest ordeal was and is her mobility after that. Her oncologist prescribed some Tramadol, in hopes that it gives her some relief until we can figure out what’s going on.

Despite all of that, we managed to make the best of it and we buzzed around the treatment center laughing, as I would make car noises while pushing her in the wheelchair (to her amusement). Mom would also critique my wheelchair driving abilities (still a mom through and through), and she’d constantly comment about how fast we were going, and that she needed goggles and a scarf to fly behind her (all I could picture was snoopy). 😂 We laughed uncontrollably over that for a solid 5 minutes — I could not get the image out of my head! There were a couple times I’d forget that she wasn’t just sitting in a chair beside me, and when we I would get up to make our next move, I’d walk off… and then remember that I have to push her, and quickly would run back and fetch her. #oops 🙎

There are also a couple times when she’d tell me to stop at the trashcan so she could throw something away, and I’d forget, and run right past it, and she’d say “YEEEEEAAAAAAWN.” 🚗💨 This never got old (unfortunately) and I’m sure that the people who don’t understand our humor (basically everyone) think we’re crazy and probably quietly say, “Bless their hearts..” under their breath. The demeanor in the cancer treatment center is pretty quiet and solemn as you can imagine, so we are a bit… um, different. Oh well — sorry, not sorry. Here’s hoping her hip pain eases up and she has minimal side effects this time around. 🍻

Chemo & Immunotherapy -- 1st Treatment, 1st Cycle

We had a busy week in Atlanta. Mom had some breathing tests completed that showed a wide variety of things with regard to her lung capacity and function. I wish she would've let me get a video of these tests because they were truly something to behold! It was quite a workout for mom (I swear, I think she had to put her eyeballs back in a few times) and she was sore afterwards. The tests make you use your lungs in ways that you wouldn't normally. She did great and the test results produced nothing surprising, according to the pulmonologist. We will take that as good news!

She also got an echocardiogram that was standard for starting chemo. They said it provides a sort of baseline to reference, if problems arise later as she goes through treatment. The test results for her heart were good!

Her labs were great, with exception to her potassium, which they just gave her a few tablets to get those levels up a bit. Also, her labs returned an elevated level with regard to tumor markers, but that wasn't surprising since we know she has cancer already. But those levels will tell us as we go, if the treatment is helping or not. Obviously, we are hoping those levels go down in the future. Beyond that, we won't know much about how the treatments are going until we see the CT scan results in 2 months, after 2 cycles. We do hope that her breathing gets easier, as the chemo and immunotherapy help to shrink whatever is present in her lungs.

We knew what to expect with the chemo process, so no big surprises there. They gave her all her pre-meds, and she was already pretty tired from the anesthesia from her port surgery earlier. So it came as no surprise that she was ready for a nap when the benadryl hit her system. Both the immunotherapy and chemotherapy took only 2-3 hours with everything. And then we were done!

We came back to the hotel and it took me almost 2 hours to get take out from a local restaurant while she rested in the room. That was a fiasco and a long story that basically equates to the CTCA needing to get their transportation department in order. It is a BIG frustration recently when we go. Things are already stressful enough, so it is really disappointing when even getting food is complicated.

Aside from that, it was a quiet night, but mom didn't sleep well. She was really sore from her port surgery and I think she had a hard time getting comfortable. Not to mention, the chemo pumping through her veins probably didn't help.

Today, she woke up and felt pretty good aside from being tired, and then as the day went on, she started feeling worse. I also noticed that she's getting more winded as she walks. One of the side effects of the immunotherapy is shortness of breath, so to pair that with her already having shortness of breath, isn't totally surprising. She went to bed fairly early and said she feels generally yucky. I'm hoping tomorrow she feels better, because tomorrow is her birthday! 💝

We go back in 2 weeks, instead of weekly like we first thought. Her doctor said he can double the chemo dose every 2 weeks with her immunotherapy, instead of spacing it out and having her come every week. No reason to believe that doing so will be less effective, so we are going with it!

 Mom -- fresh out of surgery. She was happy about her pink wheelchair! 💟

Mom's Health Update

It's been a little over a month since my brother and I confided in each other that we both had a really awful feeling something was going on with Mom. I was on a boat off the coast of Italy and suddenly had a sinking feeling in my stomach that things were wrong. So in the middle of the Mediterranean, I frantically began texting mom, Jeremy and her cousin Debbie to see if she had returned from a doctor's appointment yet, and if anything new had come up. Long story, short - a procedure to remove fluid from her lungs back in April (the day before we left for Spain/Italy) left us all (doctors included) perplexed on what caused the fluid to be there in the first place. Original thoughts of pneumonia or some sort of respiratory infection were ruled out, so we feared the worst, and apparently those fears were justified.

Yesterday, mom was officially diagnosed again with triple negative breast cancer (this time, metastatic) that has spread to her lungs, lymph nodes, and bones. It has been a month or more getting to this diagnosis, and we've had a lot of time to process each new revelation as we got closer to the official diagnosis that we received yesterday from her oncologist in ATL. As you can imagine, a lot of tears have been cried but we are at a point now where we are ready to tackle this cancer again (for those that don't know, she was originally diagnosed and treated in 2017 for a lump in her breast, treatment was completed April 2018). Her oncologist was surprised her cancer had returned so quickly, as her type of cancer typically returns (if it does) around the 2-3 year mark. She last had a mammogram in September, and a physical exam in March, which of course came back clear, and still is as far as we can tell. It's really a shame that scans, other than mammograms, aren't approved by insurance for cancer patients. I can't help but wonder if this could have been caught sooner. But honestly, her insurance recently denied coverage for that mammogram, saying it was unnecessary. Talk about infuriating.. 

Anyway, if you know anything about metastatic breast cancer, you probably know that it is advanced and not curable, only treatable to extend quality of life. You are also likely wondering about life expectancy and survival rates. Honestly, those statistics are not good (generally speaking). However, everyone is different and we just don't know anything specific regarding that. In my eyes, there is no sense in dwelling on an estimated time frame that we may or may not have. For now, mom is feeling good, but just has a hard time moving around, since she has shortness of breath very easily. We found out this morning from the pulmonologist here in ATL that only treatment will help to ease that breathing problem. BUT we did find out that there seems to be only a minimal amount of fluid in her lungs since the fluid extraction (1.5 liters!) on April 23rd. This is good news for now, since that means another extraction is not needed at this time, and the fluid buildup is very slow going.

Treatment for stage 4 triple negative breast cancer is a little complicated at the moment. We had hoped that our trip down to ATL this week would have resulted in immediate treatment. However, her oncologist is working hard to find out if she has a certain biomarker, called PD-L1, that would make her eligible to receive a new treatment for triple negative breast cancer, called Immunotherapy (it was just approved by the FDA in MARCH!) It would actually be combined with chemotherapy... 3 weeks on, 1 week off and then repeat another cycle. They will then take a CT to see how everything has responded after the 2nd cycle, and repeat as necessary. If the cancer responds well enough, mom could take a break from treatment and would be scanned again in 3 months to see where things stand, unless symptoms ramp up. If the cancer looks to have progressed, then the cycles start again to try to control and maintain, and hopefully shrink what is there. This will likely be an indefinite process.

On the flip side, if the testing comes back negative for PD-L1 and she is not able to get the Immunotherapy, she will just have chemo. I'm not sure if she would follow the same or a similar schedule with just the chemo alone, or if it would be different. We are just hoping she gets the Immunotherapy and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, if she can't. Unfortunately, that comes with more waiting and we have learned a lot about patience these last 3 weeks. When I typed that it's been 3 weeks, I said to myself, "Has it really only been 3 weeks?!" It feels like it was an eternity ago since I went with her to the doctor that Tuesday, right after we returned from Italy. Her Wilmington Pulmonologist was about 90% sure she had cancer again, at least in her lungs and lymph node between her lungs. When I asked begged the doctor to tell me something else it could possibly be, he had nothing. Devastation does not properly convey that feeling, but we still had to get through the biopsy to know for certain because we knew 90% did not mean 100%.. 

Unfortunately, cancer was preliminarily confirmed that Friday right after an endobronchial ultrasound and biopsy, but we still weren't sure if it was the breast cancer that had spread or if it was new lung cancer that had also spread. That was what was confirmed yesterday - in her lungs and lymph node and a PET scan prior to the biopsy also highlighted another lymph node, and a couple bones. Those areas were not biopsied.

So, here we are. Scared about the uncertainty and it's implications, but more than ready to get this process rolling so we can continue going to Vegas and wherever else she wants to go, as treatments allow. If you know my mom, not much slows her down when it comes to her travels. During her initial treatment cycle and after one of her chemo appointments, she went to Vegas to visit family (and to go to the casinos, let's be real) and she was a trooper! She has plenty of scarves to keep her looking fly (she loves that term, for some reason💁), and she feels confident in that she halfway knows what to expect with regard to chemo. She is tentatively set up to go back to ATL around June 11/12th to either start treatment or map out next steps, and closely monitor her COPD (so that there isn't confusion between cancer symptoms and COPD symptoms). 

Mom is in pretty good spirits, considering what's going on. She's still the same Anne Marie though, so don't get all mushy and say nice things because that makes us cry. Making us laugh to the point of crying is preferred and also appreciated. 😊

Why This Race Means So Damn Much

I would bet that a lot of you are tired of seeing all my running posts the last few months.  Whether it's just me complaining about the frigid temps, the rain, the early Saturday run times, or just because I'm running and not laying on a beach, I'm sure I've had my share of eye-rolls from scrollers.  And I have to admit that before January, I've never really understood running as a sport (although, I'll say that I've been in awe of people who get out and run like it's nothing pretty much all of the time).  I just assumed that running was something that you had to have loved all of your life in order to enjoy, or that it was just an inherited trait.  I still struggle with motivating myself to get up and do it, but once I'm doing it, 9 times out of 10 (unless I'm on a treadmill), once I get going, I'm good for a while.  And I just coast.  And I think about allllll the things, or absent-mindedly listen to my music, sometimes pretending they're all singing just for me to keep going (I can't let them down, you know).

But I realize now, the day before my race, that it's more than that.  When I signed up to train (which up until that point, I've always said I would never run more than a 10k), it was more of a social thing.  Because being a SAHM, I don't get a ton of interaction with people older than 4 on a daily basis.  Now that the kids are 2 and 4, I am slowly getting into more of a habit of having "me time," but it is inconsistent at best.  Until January.  Then I committed to running at least 2 times a week, mostly with company of other like-minded people who have a goal in mind.  Most of those people, when I tell them I have 2 year old and 4 year old, they start telling me how they remember those years, how challenging they were, and how they can imagine that any kind of small break from doing that 24/7 is likely welcome.

But y'all.  In almost 5 years, this is the first time I've actually set out with a goal that is 100% for myself AND been able to follow through.  Because previously, when I set out to run or train even for shorter distances, I had alllllll the excuses - big and small. I was pregnant, or still breastfeeding, or pregnant again, or going through 2 consecutive miscarriages, or pregnant again, or still breastfeeding again, or simply getting the hang of having 2 kids in general just tired, or struggling with my identity in different ways with my evolving life, or simply because ---> kids.  My mom was also diagnosed with breast cancer last summer and I spent a lot of time going back and forth for her chemo treatments, and my dad and stepmother separated after 25 years of marriage, and those 2 things happening within 2-3 months of each other brought in a whole other realm of feelings that I had never dealt with, especially together.  And those were just my own obstacles.  Craig is also working, traveling, and training for triathlons, so he is in and out a lot too, meaning childcare can be tricky.  Finding the right some balance has been difficult, but with this training, I feel like I've finally been able to stabilize long enough to start and finish something.  Each mile tomorrow will symbolize overcoming several obstacles that have knocked me off my feet at some point over the past 5 years.

So I get it when people are jokingly like "Who wants to run, or pay to run, etc, etc?"  It hasn't always been a dream of mine, but I can't lie when I say that it is going to feel good when I cross that finish line tomorrow.  Who knows if I will hit my target pace when it's all said and done, or complete the entire thing without walking, but I WILL finish.  I know that if Craig can finish a half ironman with a broken collar bone and fractured ribs after crashing his bike during his first ironman race, I can, at the very least, cross the finish line of my first half marathon (hopefully with a lot less injury).  AND I will know that I legitimately put in the work to get there.  So I apologize for all of the sometimes annoying running posts/pictures over the past few months -- some of it was for accountability reasons, but mostly it was for humor.  Because seriously, if you had told me a couple years ago that I would be training for a race in temperatures cold enough to freeze my water bottle while running, I would have thought that I must be trapped in the tundra somewhere.

Slightly off-topic, but have you ever found yourself in a situation where you wonder if you had the ability years ago to flash forward to get a sneak peak of random moments in your life, what you would think of the circumstances?  Like in 2006 if you had shown me a glimpse of me running down Wade Avenue, I would've thought "Okay, someone is definitely chasing me.. I hope I make it..", or "Oh ok... I'm probably taking a left on Western to get to Bojangles."  It's just interesting how we evolve.  And thank God I eat a lot less Bojangles now, because that was a constant battle (hayyyy seasoned fries and honey mustard sauce 🙌).

On this day though, I gave in. #reward (And ironically, it was the Bojangles on Western 😂)

So even though back then, I never would've believed I would've done all of this for a half marathon, I definitely believe me now.  I kind of believe in me now too, so there's also that. 💪 #girlpower #roarandstuff 

Top 5 Revelations of 2017

I feel like it's safe to say that 2017 presented a number of challenges in my personal life.  They were wide-ranging and I found them to be difficult, as any challenge typically is.  But I figured out a lot about myself in that time.  For the most part, I know who I am.  I know where I stand and I feel good about where I stand.  As a Christian, if I were to have a face-to-face with God right this minute, I could proudly tell Him the following things:

1) I honored thy mother and father.  In moments of crisis, I feel like I stepped up for my family.  I did some intense thinking, praying, soul searching and attempted to do what was best for my family regarding many things, and also had to consider what was best for me in the process.  It wasn't always easy, and at times I felt like I was failing in general, or failing certain people specifically.  But in the end, I feel like I would do it all over again, the same way.  I tried to be present for those who needed me and I tried to be fair to everyone, including myself.  It didn't always appear that way to everyone involved, but I absolutely did the best I could.  I felt guilty at times because I knew that my choices (no matter what I did) were going to hurt someone.  But do I believe that God would condemn me for my choices?  Nope, and that is how I am content with where I've gone with my decisions.

2) My only true calling in this life so far is to be a mother and wife, though I am very imperfect in this role (to put it lightly).  Everything else is secondary.  I do not feel I was put on this earth to be an admin worker, a purchasing agent, sales person, software consultant, etc.  In no other role or job that I've had in my life have ever I tried as hard as I do with being a mother and wife, or been paid less.  I fail daily, but I will never be the perfect parent and I am definitely not the perfect wife.  I recognize this only because I found myself failing in other ways because I was being so hard on myself for my shortcomings.  My main job right now is to be a mother to my children, and that's difficult because I've only done this for a short amount of time, when I had very different roles for decades, leading up to this.  I'm still learning, but it's one of the few singular things I'm passionate about in this moment that I actually have direct control over.  I've tried to learn to forgive myself when I recognize I could've handled something better.  I am working to find an identity outside of my kids but these 2 roles are pretty important and I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be.
(Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.)  

3) I have loved thy neighbor.  There isn't much I haven't said with regard to social and political issues, and I consider this whole realm to be one.  I think I've spoken up on most pressing issues and most of the important people in my life understand and respect where I stand (I hope, regardless of whether they agree with me or not).  I've made sure that there is no question of how I feel regarding issues of race, sexual preference, religion, freedom of choice, refugees, immigration, the 2nd amendment and all that it responsibly entails, etc.  Sometimes, it has been to the detriment of relationships, but I feel like most of these issues are more than "just politics".  We are talking about peoples' lives.  HUMANITY.  I accept all people who lead their lives in a way that brings light, not darkness.  If you life your life in a way that brings others down, you and I won't probably won't mesh.  And that's okay.  My eyes have been opened to so many different perspectives and opinions, some more disappointing than others (because who doesn't wish we all agreed when we feel we are right), but I have learned so much regardless.  I recognize that there are people that who do not look like me, who do love worship like me, who do not love like me, who do not speak like me, or live like me.  But we are all equal and deserving of the same rights here in this country, and all over the world as far as that goes.  

4) There's no bible verse or commandment for this: I am sarcastic to a fault.  Most of my friends understand this love language of mine, but it does get me into trouble.  It is hard to reign it in, and a lot of times it ends up being a defense mechanism, and most often, it is used to highlight irony (i.e. - casting stones, etc).  Unfortunately,  there are times that it is read as arrogance (and I apologize for that - it is certainly not my intention)  For those that know me know that I am only confident that I feel deeply.  I am a very emotional person, but I admit that it doesn't always make me right.  It's something that I work on daily, but if you find yourself in an emotional conversation with me, where things are getting tense, the first thing to recognize is that I am passionate about the way I feel.  Just because you do not agree with me, does not make me wrong.  It also doesn't make me right, but regardless of where you stand on that, you need to know that I'm feeling some kinda way about it.  I recognize that being so emotional isn't always seen as a positive, but if you at all appreciate and value the relationship that we have (no matter how small the relationship seems), recognizing when I feel a certain way about a subject is important because you can be sure that I am not being flippant about it.  At all.  I'm trying to do better about how I present my perspective, so I hope that others also try to simply listen.

5) Even considering these challenges and self-revelations, they do not hold a candle to the real challenges of the world.  Like those humans in the world that are attempting to save their own families' lives by fleeing their country, those humans who are being abused daily by both strangers and people that they love, those humans that don't have the financial stability to eat proper meals (or eat anything at all), those humans that do not have a home or a place to safely lay their heads at night, those humans who have lost a child through no fault of their own, or senselessly lost a child due to violence of any kind, or lost a child through sickness due to not having the appropriate access to healthcare to prevent such tragedy, those humans who have to have conversations with their children daily about the mean people in this world who do not see their value due to the color of their skin, their gender, or their religion.  Through all of my so-called strife, I am so, so lucky that I cannot claim such challenges in my life.  

I struggle with this verse : Psalm 34:19 - The righteous person may have troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

Thanks to social media and technology in general, I see so much suffering daily.  I know there are children who are born into suffering, and die due to suffering and I can't even begin to imagine the in-between.  The only point at which they are delivered from their suffering is when they leave this cruel world.  So why?  Why do they have to be born into such an awful world, only to die in such terrible circumstances?  I have no answers, but when I see such trivial arguments about rights to own a semi-automatic weapon when there are children dying of starvation, murder, rape, etc, I can't help but get angry and sad with the differences in worldly views.

I was reminded by a very close friend this week to always remember to find the grace in all situations.  If you are being angered by someone, just remember they could be going through something terrible that you know nothing about.  Find the grace.  BE the grace that people need in their lives.  We all need it.  

Surgery and Follow-up Complete!

I'm really behind on this update, so I apologize to everyone who has anxiously waited! 😜

We got great news after mom's surgery!  Jeremy and I were both there with her and the surgical oncologist came and talked to us after they were done (that was on Tuesday the 16th), and said that they removed the known tumor, and nothing was found in her sentinel lymph nodes so they didn't have to progress to an axillary lymph node dissection!  Which also means that her post-surgery recovery was going to be easier since a drain wasn't needed and she didn't need to stay overnight in the hospital.  We still had to wait 2 weeks to see what the lab results were on the tumor they removed, but the initial news so far was great!

The trip didn't go without excitement.  Jeremy wasn't scheduled to fly back to Raleigh until that Tuesday night, but snow was moving in so they cancelled his flight.  Fortunately they canceled it well enough in advance and he was able to quickly get to the airport and catch an earlier flight before the snow ALSO reached Raleigh!  Mine and mom's flight wasn't scheduled until the next day (Wednesday the 17th) because we weren't sure if she was going to be required to stay overnight, and also we weren't sure how good she was going to feel after the procedure.

Of course, in true southern fashion, we woke up to an icy/snowy mess and the roads were terrible.  Our flight ended up being delayed from a noon departure to ~3pm departure (which wasn't terrible, considering).  BUT we had no idea that getting to the airport and through security was going to be as bad as it was (which, security ended up being so, so bad for me in particular because mom always miraculously gets TSA pre-check, which I tell her it's actually senior pre-check 😂).  We knew it would be challenging, but we had no idea the severity.  I nearly missed the flight because the security line was literally wrapped around baggage claim and beyond (the flight ended up being further delayed which had I known, would have been a lot less stressful).  Mom, in particular, was in a tizzy because she didn't know whether she should wait for me or what, because she was able to get through security pre-check relatively easy -- I would've definitely told her to go on without me and that I would catch the next flight, but the uncertainty had her stressed.  Not to mention, people in the security line were fired up because they were actively missing their flights and there were these 2 or 3 guys in particular that kept finding ways to get ahead of us in line, instead of waiting like normal people.  They were removed once or twice and so they'd leave, and then they'd just go further ahead each time and I think people finally gave up on it.  I'm always so surprised at the lengths people will go to take shortcuts in order to get ahead (both literally and figuratively), putting other people out to get what they want. #peoplethesedays 😡

Anyway, we finally got back to Wilmington and then I was stuck there because Raleigh received approximately 7-8 inches and roads were (again) a mess.  I live in the northern part of Wake County, so traveling the roads through Raleigh to get there would've been a big gamble.  Not to mention, our neighborhood was a sheet of ice that next day.  I finally was able to get home on Friday with little trouble.

::Fast forward 2 weeks::

Jeremy was able to go with mom this time because Craig was traveling for work that week, and we continued to receive good news!  Her tumor was NOT metaplastic and was called Invasive Ductal.  It's still Triple Negative, but it not being metaplastic was a big piece of the "scary".  Apparently, metaplastic is often Triple Negative, so when she was diagnosed with Triple Negative, they decided to be aggressive and treat it as metaplastic, just to be safe.  So, in summary it is NOT metaplastic, but it is Invasive Ductal Triple Negative.  Her doctors told her that if you're going to have Triple Negative, this is the type of Triple Negative breast cancer that you want!  They also changed up her radiation treatment just a little bit, and she is only going for 4 weeks instead of 6 weeks.  Good news all around!

Her journey is not quite over yet, but we are happy to be past the hard and scary parts.  And we are extremely grateful for all of the help, encouragement and prayers we've received along the way.  It's been so welcome and appreciated, and we just can't say enough for it all.  Whether you've sent messages, emails, cards, meals, kept my crazy kids, or just been able to offer a hand or a visit when things seemed really tough or uncertain, we've been thankful (and likely cried) for the outpouring of support.  If you know us well, you know that we cry when you cry... and we also cry when people are just nice, so there's also that.

 It is what it is.  xoxo!