2 posts in 2 days.. pretty crazy for me. Can you tell Craig is gone? :) He'll be back tonight.. he's been traveling for work. Relax... the title is misleading... but it gets better.
Anyway, so I have a big obsession with music... probably an even bigger obsession with lyrics. Many songs are easy to love because they're fun or they have a good beat or something abstract like that. But I've found (with me anyway) that I really love songs that I can relate to. One song that I find myself really listening to everytime it comes on (and for some reason, XM radio loves to play it) is "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. It's pretty common for people to listen to a song and sing along, but I really started paying attention at how in tune I am to this song.. it's like listening to a brand new story every time. I think it's because the lyrics are so relatable(pretty sure I just made that word up) and it's about something that many go through.. a break-up.
Most break-up songs are angry, or incredibly sad.. and I've overplayed many of them over the years, relating it to my various situations that you go through as you grow up. But this song is so different. It's about a break-up that she's initiating. That[initiating a break-up] in itself is a difficult thing to go through, and more often than not, break-ups are unfortunately full of anger because the other did something to hurt him or her to cause the initiation. But that's where this song is different. The girl (in this case) seems completely heartbroken at the mere thought of the havoc of what she's going to say to the guy, will bring. She knows the relationship isn't going anywhere and breaking up is unavoidable, but she is dreading breaking the news to him. To me it seems like she's deduced that they were predestined to never be "forever" and it never would've worked regardless.
How often does this happen? Like I said, more often than not, break-ups are angry and hurtful, but with this one, she seems completely sure and at peace (as much as you can be) with her decision. Not only this but she reminds him that nothing he did caused it, that he did nothing wrong and loved her just as much as she knows was possible for him to love her. But she needed more, and obviously, something else. She also puts the "But I know you'll find another, That doesn't always make you want to cry.." As I go through and read the lyrics, I realize that it's not the lyrics alone that makes this song what it is. Her voice perfectly illustrates her pain for having to carry through with her decision. "I love you enough to let you go.."
I've been there. It's an incredibly difficult thing to go through. But knowing that you're doing what's best for both of you, knowing that you could be happier, and that the other person could be happier as well... it's worth it in the end. It may not feel like it for a while, and you cry and cry.. and wonder if you've completely screwed up by breaking his/her heart.. especially if you fear that it was a mistake. But once you reflect and look back at what it was and where you are now (hopefully).. you find peace that you made the right decision. And not even just because you're happy, but because the other person is too. Always trust your instincts. Your mind can often cloud your judgement, but you have to trust your heart. If you know yourself and you know how to trust yourself, the heart won't lie.
I'm sure you've already heard the song, but just in case you've never really paid attention..
*****************
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have work out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop
[Chorus]
I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go
[Chorus]
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
[Chorus]
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
PupTales
I feel like the only thing I ever write about is Jovi.. but it makes sense because she's mine and I love her, so it's ok. :)
First of all, and kind of off subject, WRAL wants me to get another puppy. I love reading/watching the news and they always strategically place those ridiculously cute puppy ads on the bottom right-hand side... right next to the entertainment column, which I always read! And I ALWAYS have to look at all the puppies that are available and need a home. I have a home! I also have a dog who doesn't really claim me anymore because my boyfriend swooped in and turned her against me by always being home and fun and cuddly. To her, I'm still the one who stressed out when she was a puppy because she was not the easiest dog to house train and had to discipline her.. aka the non-fun one. BUT, that's okay.. I still think she'd protect me if someone were trying to break in and hurt me. Maybe. If that person had a porkchop tied around their neck. Actually, I don't think I'd put money on that either. At least she's cute.
Anyway - so funny story about her. Last weekend, we were at Craig's house and he lets her out to go to the bathroom.. pretty normal. We usually just let her go out (even though his backyard isn't fenced in), and then she comes right back. Usually. Unless there's a furry critter or bird taunting her. And guess what was lurking in his backyard... a freakin' cat. So, she takes off after this cat, and trees it immediately. And the stupid cat finds the only tree in the backyard that has no limbs. So this cat is just hanging there and Jo is going nuts at the bottom, trying to figure out how to get to it (including starting about 15 feet back, and getting a running start, and then leaping up the tree truck.. to no avail, of course. Atta girl.. shoot for your dreams, Jo!)
So.. again, the cat is just hanging there.. all the while Craig is just chomping on his cereal, laughing. He's the one who let her out, so I say.. "Umm are you going to go get her?" She's clearly not listening when we call her and is totally zoned into this cat. He says that he's going to finish his cereal and then he'll go get her... and that she's not going anywhere bc she's fixated on that cat. So, my next logical thought (which I said outloud, mind you).. "What if the cat falls?" He essentially "psh'd" me and continued eating his cereal. So I go outside, to watch Jovi and attempt to get her back inside. The stupid cat falls. And jovi leaps through the woods and over the creek very deer-like... and she's gone.
*Insert the "I-told-you-so's" as Craig frantically gets out the door in pursuit after her. I think most people would call this "nagging" or "bitching". Whatever. I was right.*
Now I can't see anything, and the only thing I can hear is Jovi's barking as she desperately tries to play with this cat towards the back of Craig's property. Craig is highstepping through the woods, avoiding briers and whatever else is back there, and then I can barely see him anymore. Then out of nowhere, I hear Jovi start yelping and crying and carrying on. I AM FREAKING OUT from the deck because she sounds like she's in the worst pain ever and I can't do a thing about it (luckily Brookes is there with me and helping me maintain sanity). I hear Craig yelling at her, trying to help her and he's not getting anywhere. This goes on for what feels like eternity but I'm sure it was only like 30 seconds to a minute. And then I see Jovi running around and Craig is still trying to get a hold of her. She is clearly still in her own little world.. and then I hear her go after the cat AGAIN! Now that's just stupid. She disappears once again and I hear her start to carry on.. again, and Craig is still trying to get a hold of her. He finally gets her and attaches the leash and they head back towards the house. I'm patiently waiting as I see them approaching.
Craig has mud all over him, as does Jovi. Along w/ a pink tint all over her face from the blood. She has bloody places all over her and my heart just sinks. My poor puppy! So we rush around and get her cleaned up so we can see the damage. Nothing major as far as injuries (the cat hurt her feelings more than anything, I'm pretty sure.. she moped the rest of the day). She had scratches all over her head. Craig said he saw the cat jump on jovi's head and go to town when she trapped it in this tunnel thing in the woods. Apparently in her haste and running around, she also hurt her leg. She had this huge spot that wouldn't stop bleeding until like 7 hours later. And then it swelled up the size of a golf ball. It went down the next day, but she really was so pitiful that night. She was hobbling around and when she laid down, that was it. She wasn't moving. She had a hard time getting up. Anyway, she's obviously fine now. The spot on her leg went down the next day, and she was quickly back to her old self.
I bet she doesn't do that again. Actually, I bet she does. And she'll still be confused as to why it doesn't want to play with her. Imagine the scene out of elf when Buddy is about to enter NYC and he comes across a raccoon. He tries to make friends and says "HI!".. and it hisses at him and bows up (sound familiar?).. and then he assumes that it just needs a hug.. and then it attacks his face!!! Poor Jovi. She's just too friendly for her own good.
First of all, and kind of off subject, WRAL wants me to get another puppy. I love reading/watching the news and they always strategically place those ridiculously cute puppy ads on the bottom right-hand side... right next to the entertainment column, which I always read! And I ALWAYS have to look at all the puppies that are available and need a home. I have a home! I also have a dog who doesn't really claim me anymore because my boyfriend swooped in and turned her against me by always being home and fun and cuddly. To her, I'm still the one who stressed out when she was a puppy because she was not the easiest dog to house train and had to discipline her.. aka the non-fun one. BUT, that's okay.. I still think she'd protect me if someone were trying to break in and hurt me. Maybe. If that person had a porkchop tied around their neck. Actually, I don't think I'd put money on that either. At least she's cute.
Anyway - so funny story about her. Last weekend, we were at Craig's house and he lets her out to go to the bathroom.. pretty normal. We usually just let her go out (even though his backyard isn't fenced in), and then she comes right back. Usually. Unless there's a furry critter or bird taunting her. And guess what was lurking in his backyard... a freakin' cat. So, she takes off after this cat, and trees it immediately. And the stupid cat finds the only tree in the backyard that has no limbs. So this cat is just hanging there and Jo is going nuts at the bottom, trying to figure out how to get to it (including starting about 15 feet back, and getting a running start, and then leaping up the tree truck.. to no avail, of course. Atta girl.. shoot for your dreams, Jo!)
So.. again, the cat is just hanging there.. all the while Craig is just chomping on his cereal, laughing. He's the one who let her out, so I say.. "Umm are you going to go get her?" She's clearly not listening when we call her and is totally zoned into this cat. He says that he's going to finish his cereal and then he'll go get her... and that she's not going anywhere bc she's fixated on that cat. So, my next logical thought (which I said outloud, mind you).. "What if the cat falls?" He essentially "psh'd" me and continued eating his cereal. So I go outside, to watch Jovi and attempt to get her back inside. The stupid cat falls. And jovi leaps through the woods and over the creek very deer-like... and she's gone.
*Insert the "I-told-you-so's" as Craig frantically gets out the door in pursuit after her. I think most people would call this "nagging" or "bitching". Whatever. I was right.*
Now I can't see anything, and the only thing I can hear is Jovi's barking as she desperately tries to play with this cat towards the back of Craig's property. Craig is highstepping through the woods, avoiding briers and whatever else is back there, and then I can barely see him anymore. Then out of nowhere, I hear Jovi start yelping and crying and carrying on. I AM FREAKING OUT from the deck because she sounds like she's in the worst pain ever and I can't do a thing about it (luckily Brookes is there with me and helping me maintain sanity). I hear Craig yelling at her, trying to help her and he's not getting anywhere. This goes on for what feels like eternity but I'm sure it was only like 30 seconds to a minute. And then I see Jovi running around and Craig is still trying to get a hold of her. She is clearly still in her own little world.. and then I hear her go after the cat AGAIN! Now that's just stupid. She disappears once again and I hear her start to carry on.. again, and Craig is still trying to get a hold of her. He finally gets her and attaches the leash and they head back towards the house. I'm patiently waiting as I see them approaching.
Craig has mud all over him, as does Jovi. Along w/ a pink tint all over her face from the blood. She has bloody places all over her and my heart just sinks. My poor puppy! So we rush around and get her cleaned up so we can see the damage. Nothing major as far as injuries (the cat hurt her feelings more than anything, I'm pretty sure.. she moped the rest of the day). She had scratches all over her head. Craig said he saw the cat jump on jovi's head and go to town when she trapped it in this tunnel thing in the woods. Apparently in her haste and running around, she also hurt her leg. She had this huge spot that wouldn't stop bleeding until like 7 hours later. And then it swelled up the size of a golf ball. It went down the next day, but she really was so pitiful that night. She was hobbling around and when she laid down, that was it. She wasn't moving. She had a hard time getting up. Anyway, she's obviously fine now. The spot on her leg went down the next day, and she was quickly back to her old self.
I bet she doesn't do that again. Actually, I bet she does. And she'll still be confused as to why it doesn't want to play with her. Imagine the scene out of elf when Buddy is about to enter NYC and he comes across a raccoon. He tries to make friends and says "HI!".. and it hisses at him and bows up (sound familiar?).. and then he assumes that it just needs a hug.. and then it attacks his face!!! Poor Jovi. She's just too friendly for her own good.
Monday, January 4, 2010
I Am Alive..
It really hasn't been that long since I posted, but I guess because I got into a rhythm there for a bit, and was posting more often.. I feel like I've been slacking on my blogging duties. Anyway, for my 1 "official" follower, and the anonymous stalkers... I am alive. :)
Some updates:
1) Jovi is also alive. That was never really a question, but she had 2 things going on. First, I found a lump on her shoulder blade (vet said it was from her vaccine the week before, so whew.. I was incredibly worried and sad when I found it, thinking my poor puppy had a tumor or something!). Second thing was that she ended up (somehow in her spastic moods of running laps around the imaginary track in my living room) splitting one of her paw nails down both sides, and wasn't putting pressure on it anymore. So, being the overreacter that I sometimes am, I put her in the car and booked it to PetSmart to see what needed to be done. In my unneccesary haste, I got to PetSmart to realize that I had not brought her leash. I am an idiot. So I just went inside and told them the deal and they gave me a vague analysis from my descriptions, as well as some vague costs. I didn't want to do anything without talking to my vet. This "update" is getting longer than I anticipated. Long story short, they didn't have to remove the nail like PetSmart told me, and the vet cut her nails way back, put her on anti-inflammatory medicine as well as some pain meds AND gave her one of those fun lamp shades to wear on her head so she stopped licking her paw... aaaaaand she's back to normal. And still a spaz.
(PS - I couldn't help but laugh at her as she clumsily ran into everything with the lamp shade on. And I do mean everything... walls, chairs, me..)
2) The job is still spectacular and I love it.
3) I came in 2nd place in one of my fantasy football leagues again.. always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
4) I got XM Radio for Christmas and I'm developing a slight obsession with clicking through hundreds of stations while I drive. Pretty sure I don't need 3 stations all devoted to Elvis, but dangit, I listen anyway!
5) Craig got some new furniture today! I'm waiting on laundry to dry as I type, before I go over there and see the product of mucho shopping around and comparing. He also bought a Tempurpedic Mattress, and is still experiencing "Buyer's Remorse" from making such a large purchase. It's funny though.. he went to the store 4 times before doing it.. it's not like it was an impulse buy. I learn so much about him everyday.. and don't worry.. I talked him down from the edge. :) I mean, he bought a mattress that NASA is responsible for designing... he knew that on day 1. How remorseful could he be?! :)
Ok, well that's all I can think of now. I'm almost positive there have been things that I was going to write about since it's been SUCH a busy Christmas, but I can't remember them. Oh, I do remember one thing.. and I'll leave you with this little tidbit...
I HATE SHOPPING. I HATE PARKING FOR SHOPPING. I HATE SHOPPING.
Some updates:
1) Jovi is also alive. That was never really a question, but she had 2 things going on. First, I found a lump on her shoulder blade (vet said it was from her vaccine the week before, so whew.. I was incredibly worried and sad when I found it, thinking my poor puppy had a tumor or something!). Second thing was that she ended up (somehow in her spastic moods of running laps around the imaginary track in my living room) splitting one of her paw nails down both sides, and wasn't putting pressure on it anymore. So, being the overreacter that I sometimes am, I put her in the car and booked it to PetSmart to see what needed to be done. In my unneccesary haste, I got to PetSmart to realize that I had not brought her leash. I am an idiot. So I just went inside and told them the deal and they gave me a vague analysis from my descriptions, as well as some vague costs. I didn't want to do anything without talking to my vet. This "update" is getting longer than I anticipated. Long story short, they didn't have to remove the nail like PetSmart told me, and the vet cut her nails way back, put her on anti-inflammatory medicine as well as some pain meds AND gave her one of those fun lamp shades to wear on her head so she stopped licking her paw... aaaaaand she's back to normal. And still a spaz.
(PS - I couldn't help but laugh at her as she clumsily ran into everything with the lamp shade on. And I do mean everything... walls, chairs, me..)
2) The job is still spectacular and I love it.
3) I came in 2nd place in one of my fantasy football leagues again.. always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
4) I got XM Radio for Christmas and I'm developing a slight obsession with clicking through hundreds of stations while I drive. Pretty sure I don't need 3 stations all devoted to Elvis, but dangit, I listen anyway!
5) Craig got some new furniture today! I'm waiting on laundry to dry as I type, before I go over there and see the product of mucho shopping around and comparing. He also bought a Tempurpedic Mattress, and is still experiencing "Buyer's Remorse" from making such a large purchase. It's funny though.. he went to the store 4 times before doing it.. it's not like it was an impulse buy. I learn so much about him everyday.. and don't worry.. I talked him down from the edge. :) I mean, he bought a mattress that NASA is responsible for designing... he knew that on day 1. How remorseful could he be?! :)
Ok, well that's all I can think of now. I'm almost positive there have been things that I was going to write about since it's been SUCH a busy Christmas, but I can't remember them. Oh, I do remember one thing.. and I'll leave you with this little tidbit...
I HATE SHOPPING. I HATE PARKING FOR SHOPPING. I HATE SHOPPING.
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