🎤 "5-1-5-0 somebody call the po-po.. "🚔
I'm really struggling with this song theme, but I'm going to make it all the way to treatment 8. You have my word!
Anywho, treatment #5 y'all! We are happy to report that it was a MUCH shorter infusion time with the 3 new drugs she's getting. We went back to the chemo room at around 1:30 and finished up around 4:30. There's a pharmacy here at the center and we had to get mom's prescription for nausea since that is supposed to be a major side effect with these meds. We are staying at the hotel that's attached to the hospital/center here so we didn't have far to go to get to our room. It was a pretty uneventful day overall. The oncologist briefed us on what these next treatments will likely bring (mostly the same side effects, plus nausea *maybe*). We are holding tight to that optimism because I think mom would rather have just about any side effect over nausea/vomiting). He also went over her levels and her liver function is looking better (her levels were a little off the last couple treatments, but nothing major) and her potassium is still a smidgen low (even though she took supplements the last treatment, along with a bag of potassium with her chemo last time). So the next 3 weeks, they want her to take more potassium and see if that gets her a little higher.
But honestly, it was a really boring appointment (in the best way possible), so everything is still looking good and she still seems to be responding well to treatment! Fingers crossed we stay on this track and we can make it home on the plane with zero need for barf bags!! 🙅🙅
Edit to add: We woke up this morning and mom isn't feeling great. She woke up around 4am to take a nausea pill because her stomach felt heavy. She also has a terrible headache, and last night she was complaining of what might be the beginning of sinus issues as she was congested when she went to bed. We will see how the next few days pan out... 🤞
Monday, October 16, 2017
#MeToo
I've been stewing on the latest news story, as it pertains to women, for a week or so now. Another HUGE headline that results in women coming forward, as a celebrity is finally called out for taking advantage of women. And these aren't just co-workers overstepping their boundaries, but these are people who are taking advantage of women because of their own status in the company or employment place and/or because of their status in society. Rose McGowan has been screaming about Harvey Weinstein for years, (literally years) and it's just now gaining steam because there's been a domino effect of women coming forward (in droves, no less). But of course, now you have people claiming that they're just after their 15 minutes of fame. And when that narrative doesn't fit, it's the "Oh, she's been irrelevant for a while, so she's just trying to drum up some publicity now." Or, as sickening as it sounds and is, there's the "Well, she was probably asking for it because she wore something provocative."
I'm sorry, what?!
This. This is why it takes women years to come forward and tell someone their story. Or they may never come forward at all. I can tell you why, and I can do that because I've experienced it. I know that I can rely on my friends and family to believe the story that I'm about to tell you because they are my friends and family. But if I were to have taken my story to a local news station because, you guessed it, absolutely nothing happened to the man, I would've been persecuted for seeking attention or fame or something absurd (and frankly, undeserving). So, I told the most "high up" person I could tell within the company. Unfortunately (for me), that happened to be his father.
I will start by telling you that my story in no way compares to the stories that I'm hearing in the news. I was never physically assaulted and no one forced themselves on me (praise Jesus because then I think he would've been in the news for sure). But I knew then that it was inappropriate, but it wasn't until I became a mother that it had a different emotional effect on me. I'm not even sure I ever told my parents about it (sorry, mom and dad), but I know that if I EVER hear that my kids were receiving any sort of sexual harassment, I would be livid.
The whole gist of my story is that I was working at this establishment during my senior year in college. I was an assistant to the VP of Operations and after a few months, also headed up the small purchasing department because it was offered to me and I felt it pertained directly to my degree. I was only in the office part time but I was given a laptop and had to oversee and purchase everything that was needing to be purchased remotely as well as correspond with all vendors, as I finished my degree. It wasn't a hard job, but it created a lot of busy work on top of the 15 or so credit hours I was responsible for as well.
My boss (we will call him Jr) was not much older than me. Maybe 5-10 years, so maybe he was under the impression that we were pals and could share in the banter that he deemed appropriate. I was under a good bit of pressure, trying to finish college while also trying to balance the part time job that took up a good chunk any free time I had in between classes. So there were times he'd call me into his office for whatever reason, and if I didn't laugh or laugh enough at his jokes, he would just say, "You need to get laid." I remember the first time he said it (yes, there were multiple times) and I was just puzzled because what do you say to that? Did he expect me to agree? What was the point of him saying that to me, other than to just assume that I wasn't laughing at his jokes because I wasn't sexually satisfied. Eventually, it was just overlooked and I would roll my eyes.
I had a spring break trip and I remember meeting with him before I left to make sure everything was taken care of before I left, and he reminded me again to get drunk and get laid. In what world is this ok for a boss to talk to his employee? There were many instances of these types of dialogue and rest assured, I did NOT participate. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a pretty reserved person when it comes to crude talk. And furthermore, I won't even say the word "fart" to my husband so yeah... I'm not the type to egg on this type of behavior. And when I wouldn't jab back, Jr would call me a prude. I finally had enough after I had graduated and decided to just cut my losses and look for another job, but I knew I needed to leave, even if I didn't have another job in the wings yet. My brother helped me to write up a resignation letter and in that I described a hostile working environment and sent it to Jr's father (we'll call him "Sr", who was the president of the company). He called me almost immediately and asked me to describe what I meant when it came to "hostile working environment." I gave him some examples like I described above, along with the constant yelling and chastising of other employees with Jr's unreasonable expectations. Of course, I realize that's my opinion but I remember watching people walk out of his office (they would have to walk through my office to leave), and my co-workers would just look so defeated as they left.
After I left, I asked if I could have my remaining vacation days paid out and Sr agreed. Of course, all of that changed after I actually left and I didn't think it was necessary to have things documented until that point. Lesson learned there, but fortunately for me I haven't been treated this way by a boss-figure since. It taught me to really examine potential future bosses/supervisors and decide if I felt like they were aware of what personal boundaries meant.
Something else that stuck with me more-so because it dealt with other colleagues' perception of me (which I really valued, having just graduated from college and essentially being brand-new to the work force, in a time where there weren't a lot of job openings circa 2006), was a rumor that Jr apparently started when we would travel to trade shows. A colleague of mine told me that after I left, he heard from other vendors that when Jr would meet with them at trade shows (apart from me), and would tell them that he and I were sleeping together (!!!). By the way, I feel like I have to proclaim that it is 100% FAKE NEWS. Seriously though, I'm pretty sure I avoided hugs, and maybe even hand shakes too. But hearing that was my major "Holy $H!+" moment. These are people that I worked with on a daily basis and would meet with them at trade shows to discuss product partnerships, etc and they were likely thinking that I was trying to sleep my way to the top. I was horrified, but I didn't know how to fix it or how to address it. So I didn't. If I had it to do over again, I still don't know what I would do, or if I could've done anything to really change it anyway. I found another job with a great company shortly after and it was a breath of fresh air. I did take a pay cut unfortunately, but if I have to give up money to not have to work in that kind of environment, I guess that's what it takes. But honestly, karma is real and the company tanked not that long after AND Sr went to prison (and may still be there) for fraud and heading up a Ponzi scheme. I don't know how Jr didn't get mixed up in it, but I'm sure he paid in other ways.
I just hope that my kids are raised in a world where people are held more accountable for their actions. Yes, there are going to always be evil people out there doing bad things. But when people (not just women) come forward to tell you what's happening, LISTEN. Then not only listen, but how about maybe do something about it? And I don't mean put them on some sort of administrative leave, or moving them around in the company where they interact with a new population of people. I mean... HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE. The first time. Because when there is evidence of one victim, there is no need for there to be evidence of two. Ever.
I'm sorry, what?!
This. This is why it takes women years to come forward and tell someone their story. Or they may never come forward at all. I can tell you why, and I can do that because I've experienced it. I know that I can rely on my friends and family to believe the story that I'm about to tell you because they are my friends and family. But if I were to have taken my story to a local news station because, you guessed it, absolutely nothing happened to the man, I would've been persecuted for seeking attention or fame or something absurd (and frankly, undeserving). So, I told the most "high up" person I could tell within the company. Unfortunately (for me), that happened to be his father.
I will start by telling you that my story in no way compares to the stories that I'm hearing in the news. I was never physically assaulted and no one forced themselves on me (praise Jesus because then I think he would've been in the news for sure). But I knew then that it was inappropriate, but it wasn't until I became a mother that it had a different emotional effect on me. I'm not even sure I ever told my parents about it (sorry, mom and dad), but I know that if I EVER hear that my kids were receiving any sort of sexual harassment, I would be livid.
The whole gist of my story is that I was working at this establishment during my senior year in college. I was an assistant to the VP of Operations and after a few months, also headed up the small purchasing department because it was offered to me and I felt it pertained directly to my degree. I was only in the office part time but I was given a laptop and had to oversee and purchase everything that was needing to be purchased remotely as well as correspond with all vendors, as I finished my degree. It wasn't a hard job, but it created a lot of busy work on top of the 15 or so credit hours I was responsible for as well.
My boss (we will call him Jr) was not much older than me. Maybe 5-10 years, so maybe he was under the impression that we were pals and could share in the banter that he deemed appropriate. I was under a good bit of pressure, trying to finish college while also trying to balance the part time job that took up a good chunk any free time I had in between classes. So there were times he'd call me into his office for whatever reason, and if I didn't laugh or laugh enough at his jokes, he would just say, "You need to get laid." I remember the first time he said it (yes, there were multiple times) and I was just puzzled because what do you say to that? Did he expect me to agree? What was the point of him saying that to me, other than to just assume that I wasn't laughing at his jokes because I wasn't sexually satisfied. Eventually, it was just overlooked and I would roll my eyes.
I had a spring break trip and I remember meeting with him before I left to make sure everything was taken care of before I left, and he reminded me again to get drunk and get laid. In what world is this ok for a boss to talk to his employee? There were many instances of these types of dialogue and rest assured, I did NOT participate. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a pretty reserved person when it comes to crude talk. And furthermore, I won't even say the word "fart" to my husband so yeah... I'm not the type to egg on this type of behavior. And when I wouldn't jab back, Jr would call me a prude. I finally had enough after I had graduated and decided to just cut my losses and look for another job, but I knew I needed to leave, even if I didn't have another job in the wings yet. My brother helped me to write up a resignation letter and in that I described a hostile working environment and sent it to Jr's father (we'll call him "Sr", who was the president of the company). He called me almost immediately and asked me to describe what I meant when it came to "hostile working environment." I gave him some examples like I described above, along with the constant yelling and chastising of other employees with Jr's unreasonable expectations. Of course, I realize that's my opinion but I remember watching people walk out of his office (they would have to walk through my office to leave), and my co-workers would just look so defeated as they left.
After I left, I asked if I could have my remaining vacation days paid out and Sr agreed. Of course, all of that changed after I actually left and I didn't think it was necessary to have things documented until that point. Lesson learned there, but fortunately for me I haven't been treated this way by a boss-figure since. It taught me to really examine potential future bosses/supervisors and decide if I felt like they were aware of what personal boundaries meant.
Something else that stuck with me more-so because it dealt with other colleagues' perception of me (which I really valued, having just graduated from college and essentially being brand-new to the work force, in a time where there weren't a lot of job openings circa 2006), was a rumor that Jr apparently started when we would travel to trade shows. A colleague of mine told me that after I left, he heard from other vendors that when Jr would meet with them at trade shows (apart from me), and would tell them that he and I were sleeping together (!!!). By the way, I feel like I have to proclaim that it is 100% FAKE NEWS. Seriously though, I'm pretty sure I avoided hugs, and maybe even hand shakes too. But hearing that was my major "Holy $H!+" moment. These are people that I worked with on a daily basis and would meet with them at trade shows to discuss product partnerships, etc and they were likely thinking that I was trying to sleep my way to the top. I was horrified, but I didn't know how to fix it or how to address it. So I didn't. If I had it to do over again, I still don't know what I would do, or if I could've done anything to really change it anyway. I found another job with a great company shortly after and it was a breath of fresh air. I did take a pay cut unfortunately, but if I have to give up money to not have to work in that kind of environment, I guess that's what it takes. But honestly, karma is real and the company tanked not that long after AND Sr went to prison (and may still be there) for fraud and heading up a Ponzi scheme. I don't know how Jr didn't get mixed up in it, but I'm sure he paid in other ways.
I just hope that my kids are raised in a world where people are held more accountable for their actions. Yes, there are going to always be evil people out there doing bad things. But when people (not just women) come forward to tell you what's happening, LISTEN. Then not only listen, but how about maybe do something about it? And I don't mean put them on some sort of administrative leave, or moving them around in the company where they interact with a new population of people. I mean... HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE. The first time. Because when there is evidence of one victim, there is no need for there to be evidence of two. Ever.
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