She was born on Oct 5th at 1:46am, but man, labor was lonnnnng and hard. I started having contractions during the really early morning hours on October 3rd around 12:30am. I started timing them but they'd be consistent and then inconsistent and then stop. I eventually got back to sleep on and off but I spent all day of October 3rd walking our neighborhood and hopping up and down on one of those huge yoga balls. It didn't get me anything but some weak contractions.
I went to bed that night and the same thing happened around midnight... I woke up to more contractions. I got out of bed this time and walked the house to time them and eat because I had a feeling this was it (after all, I was due Sept 27th, so this had to be it, right?). I walked around for like 3 hours timing the contractions and finally got Craig up around 4. He showered, I showered and after I talked to the doctor and since I was 41 weeks, she told me to come in.
I checked in that Friday morning, October 4th, to triage and they checked my cervix and I was still only a "maybe 3cm" at about 6 or 7am (which was where I was earlier that week). Super bummed, but Dr. Collins told me that she would like to go ahead and break my water to get things going. She said if we didn't do that, I could always just go home but she felt like I'd be right back by the end of the day. So we went with it and she broke my water and discovered there was meconium. That just meant that the baby had pooped already and the NICU would be waiting in the delivery room when I was pushing.
So fast-forward and ALL of the parents showed up around the same time (I think around 10am), even though I told them to take their time. I walked and walked and walked and bounced and did everything to try to get her out (even though I didn't know we were having a girl at the time). She stalled around 4-5 cm for HOURS. Finally, I got tired enough to ask for an epidural around lunchtime even though I wanted to go all natural (once your water breaks, those contractions get real very quickly). My amazing nurse (who I can't remember her name for the life of me, but she was awesome) talked me out of it because I was so adamant about having a natural birth when I came in. So she gave me the option to try Stadol which was a drug administered to help me relax between contractions. It didn't help with pain - it just helped to let me rest in between. I really wish I hadn't done it because, yes I did get a little rest, but it took it FOREVER to wear off. I felt so drunk for hours and it was so hard for me to focus on breathing because I was so tired. I felt like I couldn't wake up. It was only supposed to last for an hour!
Funny story: before I got the drug, my dad plopped down in my room in the chair and started watching sportscenter, while eating chocolate chip cookies! I was like "DAD! I'm so hungry!" and of course, I couldn't eat anything other than popsicles and clear fluids. He didn't know that and asked "Oh you want some?!" Haha, yes, let's ask the pregnant, laboring, hungry, tired lady if she wants some cookies! Good old Dad - he had no idea. Anyway, I sent Craig away to eat lunch because I knew I'd get hangry if he attempted to eat in front of me too. So mom sat with me for a while and everyone else left for a bit (I assume to eat, because that's all I probably wanted to do!)
So, I had the drug now and I was trying to relax, which is kind of laughable because I'd be out of it and then all of the sudden, I'd just start huffing and puffing through a contraction. I remember one time, my mom was really impressed that all I muttered was "Ohh Shhhhhhhhooooot" as I powered through one. I don't think I was able to maintain that kind of control through the rest of the day, but it was a good effort. I still find it hard to swear in front of my mom apparently. So anyway, they keep checking me and I'm barely making any progress but I had a great support team with the nurse(s). I even went into another nurse's 12 hour shift that night. I was so sad to see my original nurse go! The new nurse was younger and I wasn't as confident in her, but the first nurse had informed her of my desire to go natural so she was also really supportive and helpful as well.
Our parents were in and out most of the afternoon, but I started to get into the nitty gritty of contractions in the evening hours (yes, EVENING hours) so I finally had to ask everyone to just stay in the lobby. I was up and down in the hospital bed and in a hospital gown and I didn't want to have any awkward moments with the dads, and I didn't want to have to worry about it. I got in the shower at one point, on the big ball. It was a sight, I'm sure. I'm in one of those attractive hospital gowns with skid proof socks on while I'm in the shower - try to picture that! I remember once I got in there and situated on the ball, it felt so good as I would roll around on it and Craig used the sprayer on my back. Craig kept telling me how great I was doing and that he couldn't even tell I was in labor during some parts. Apparently, I had found my groove. Although, I really feel like I was just putting up a front because I distinctly remember thinking I was ready for a c-section. I would have these thoughts as we got into these evening hours and the progress was SO minimal.
Craig did everything we learned in our classes. He brought tennis balls and rolled them on my back and did all the little massages they taught us. He was amazing! He never left my side (I don't think) after that lunch break. I think he did go to get a fan or some ice or the nurse at a couple points. It was so freaking hot in that delivery room. I just kept asking for ice and for the fan!
We did all kinds exercises to try to make the labor as "comfortable" as possible. I was on my side, on my knees, on my back - I would bury my face in pillows, scream, breathe, whatever. Although I didn't scream much because I noticed it took a lot more effort and seemingly made the pain worse if I did anything other than controlled breathing. It took hours, but I just don't remember much of it.
I finally get to 10cm around midnight... needless to say, I was EXHAUSTED and I still had to push. Nobody tells you how hard pushing is. I was prepared for it to hurt like crazy, but I didn't think it would take so much energy and just the right kind of pushing to make any of it productive. Or if they did, I didn't hear it because I kept asking the nurse "what if I can't do this???" because I really didn't think I could. I was so, so tired. I looked up at Craig and told him I couldn't do it and he just kept coaching me and encouraging me. I know he had to feel so helpless. We tried a couple pushes through contractions with just the nurse and it was awful. I finally made some sort of progress after about 20-30 minutes of terror and what do they do? They tell me to stop. So I have to sit there with NO epidural, with this immense pressure on my backside which really just makes you want to push, and they tell you not to. You are literally fighting your own body! It took about 3 hours for "my doctor" to come in (not really, but it felt like it... sitting through contractions when you are at that point is complete torture. I'm confident it would be used in war if it was feasible.) And I say "my doctor" because it was the on-call doctor in another practice because my actual doctor's shift had ended about 12 hours before. You have to remember that I came in at around 6-7am and it was about 1am the next day (Saturday) by now.
So the doctor had checked on me in the previous hours leading up to this, and had told me that he was impressed with my composure and he didn't think he'd have to do any cutting or an episiotomy and that it should all be fine. Why he would tell me that, I don't know because I have no clue what he was basing that on. Because it only took him about 3-4 pushes for him to look at me and say "Haley - stop pushing for a second. If I just cut, just a little bit, the baby should come right on out." At that point, I didn't care what he did, I just wanted it done! I think my response was "Ok fine, whatever" which I don't know if he was expecting that or not, because he acted like he was trying to sell me on it. Anyway, he cuts and he pulls HER out. We decided that Craig would be the one to tell me if it was a boy or a girl, and NOT the doctor. So Craig looks at me and says "It's a Grace!..." And then he looks at the doctor and says "Hey, it's a girl, right?" I was like WTF? I know the look I gave him was absolutely hilarious to bystanders, because I was like "Ok, you had 1 job!" Every time we told this story, he would say "In my defense, she was really swollen!" Mmmhmmm.
So, they had to take her to the little incubator thing in the room and get her cleaned off some and make sure she was ok from the meconium. She was perfect and they brought her to me and it was just magic. I'm laying there with my legs spread-eagle, still in stirrups and I just get lost with this tiny little baby girl on my chest.
She still uses that lip at every opportunity!
We do all the pictures and everything, and the doctor is taking FOREVER "down there". Not to mention, he had to get the nurse to jab me with a needle in my leg to apparently stop the bleeding. That's a reassuring thing. So I finally ask the nurse what's going on and she tells me I have a 3rd degree tear. I had no idea what that meant and she filled me in. Not fun.
Anyway, he finally finishes and I'm still shaking beyond measure which she tells me is normal, all while she keeps punching me in the uterus. I finally told her that she couldn't do it anymore and we began negotiating on how often and how many more times she was going to attempt to get my uterus to contract and to get the clots out. I know it's important and everything, but dang - I had already been through way more than I had bargained for. I was so tired and HUNGRY!
I finally get done in the delivery room, and they get me to the bathroom before they take me to recovery so I could do what I could manage to do at that point (with way more supervision than I was normally comfortable with when I use the restroom but by now, I had lost any dignity that I had). Craig had gone to inform the parents that the baby was here but we still hadn't told them if it was a boy or a girl, and of course we hadn't told the name. We had kept the name a secret as well. I know my mom told me that they were all really worried because it had taken us a while to update them after I reached 10cm to when she was born. She was born at 1:46am and I think we finally got them to our room around 4:30am? The stitching took a long time and then getting me to the bathroom, and to recovery, and then letting me inhale the best grilled cheese sandwich of my life took a bit of time.
We have a video of them coming in the room and me telling them that it's a girl. What's weird is that no one asked her name! I finally had to tell them: Amelia Grace Allen and I wanted to call her Millie.
The rest is history.. we had a rough few months to follow. She had colic and I had no clue what I was doing. BUT, once she hit the 6 month mark and started to gain mobility, she became the happiest baby you can find... and a great sleeper to boot! Millie, you've been a challenge from day 1 in the best way possible. You've made me love something like you'll never understand until you have one of your own. And maybe then you'll understand it when I say that you and your brother are the best things to ever happen to me.
