I feel like I should apologize for not keeping up with my blog, because I really had some awesome stories to tell leading up to the wedding. Buuuuut then I realize that my 6 followers would tell me not to worry about apologizing. And 6 isn't sarcasm… for a change. :)
So obviously, the wedding went well! There were a few sna-foos, but people warned me ahead of time that things would go wrong.. and sure enough, they did! But, I kept pretty calm.. surprisingly. I made it a goal to not be like those psychos that you see on TV that scream and cry when things go wrong. I still cried, but not because things went wrong. But mostly because of what went right. Which is always refreshing.
I held it together until about the last hour before the ceremony. I started to wonder if something was wrong with me because I hadn't broke down in tears yet, and usually that's what stress does to me. I had a moment at the rehearsal dinner… Craig and I had broke away from the crowd to walk inside the club house where the food was, and on the way (it was kind of dark and quiet), I had a hard time fighting back tears. Nothing was wrong.. I just got really emotional for some reason. I'm sure a major reason was because my Maid of Honor, Brookes coordinated the making of this big scrapbook for me and had just given it to me! Seriously - one of the best gifts I've ever received. My family (women-folk from my immediate family and Craig's) and bridesmaids each did a page, and it was so thoughtful. I know that contributed to the sudden emotion. As soon as I looked over the last page, Craig's mom said the blessing for the food, and of course she also included ridiculously nice things about our marriage coming up the next day, and my throat tightened up really quickly. And then that's when we walked into the clubhouse. So… during that moment, I wasn't sure if I was about to straight up bawl, or if I could fight it back… I won that little battle. :) Round 1 anyway.
Fast forward through the next day, and I did pretty well. As soon as we got to the salon, my step-mom went and asked my mom how she was doing, and my mom suddenly burst out into tears and said… "I think I'm about to cry!" Mom walked away… I teared up and fought it back. I should've known this would bite me later. But.. I did win Round 2. Booyah.
We got to the venue, and things got a little chaotic. We had to set up for the reception pretty quickly and it was a mad rush. Everything finally sorta got done and we were able to start the process for getting my dress on. Got that on, no problems. Then one of my bridesmaids tells me some people are here (it was like 3:30 and the ceremony started at 5, so I was wondering which of the family was there.)
I looked out the window to see my 2 oldest brothers, and all 3 of their boys with them. I wasn't sure if they all would be able to make it, but sure enough, they did! THAT was when I lost it. I backed away from the window, made all sorts of terrible faces trying to fight back more tears, and finally went off to the bathroom to have that hyperventilate-kind-of-cry. Of course they followed me in there, asking what was wrong, and in between breaths, I told them that I was just happy… my family was all there and that it was happy tears! My mom was just like "Ok, that's good but don't mess up your makeup." The woman had a point.
So I got it under control, and we progressed through the next hour leading up to the ceremony, and the coordinator finally came and got us - it was game time!! All the girls left, and it was just me and my dad waiting until they called us. The silence completely overwhelmed me… I had that heavy-breathing-snotty cry start up again, and I was wondering if I was going to be able to calm back down. I think my dad was in shock… he had no idea what to say! Haha - poor dad. He did a good job.. he reminded me that I had gum in my mouth and I told him that I didn't care and that it relaxed me. I was finally using my bride power! Then we joked that I could just hock it out when I reached the alter. I was really going for that wow factor, ya know?
Anyways - fast forward a couple minutes, and I reach the door leading out to the alter and it's opened. Craig is cheesing at me and I'm smiling back! No tears! (In my head, I'm thinking "Yay, I can focus on walking now!") That's when I reach the next set of stairs where everyone else can see me, and THEN I lost it and tears began to flow. All the pictures I've seen of me coming down the aisle are of me looking down, fighting back tears.. and the pictures don't capture it but my bottom lip was shaking like crazy! I really hate that I couldn't smile the rest of the way… the pictures look kind of depressing honestly. Oh well!
Anyway - that was the last of the tears pretty much… I made the mistake of looking over at my brothers once after I reached the alter. That was stupid. I had to regroup and then I was good.… it was smooth sailing the rest of the night. Everyone so far has said they had a great time, and we really hope they did. We worked very hard to get things just right, and even though we didn't quite perfect everything… the flaws worked out perfectly. If that makes any sense at all.
Now - no more asking me when we're going to have babies! Mama is already penciling me in for 6 kids… I can't take all the pressure! And we're definitely not having 6.. sorry mama!!
