“It is well with my soul”
Paraphrased, these were the words mom said to her cousin, Chris, back in May. I had no idea the conversation took place but was so happy when Chris told me about it a couple weeks ago when things were really grim. I probably don’t have to tell y’all that mom wasn’t one to talk about serious things — end of life included. I tried getting the palliative care doctor to help me have conversations with her and somehow she always ended up shifting the conversation and she’d be joking about something not really even relevant. I still don’t know how she did that.
That was her though - she was great at making even the worst conversations bearable. A snide comment here, and a witty comeback there and we’d be laughing til we cry. And we would relive the conversation several more times more and laugh just as hard later, or we’d try to retell the story to some unfortunate person. It’s strange but no one really laughed as hard as we did and we’d always comment that it’s never as funny when you have to explain it. And then we’d probably laugh some more. I remember looking back on some Facebook comments, remembering how hard we laughed when we made them. It seems like yesterday, but also so long ago as I try to remember why it was so funny. We would just get in moods and find the simplest things hilarious. I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this with her. She just had a way of talking that made her commentary entertainment by itself. If we were able to turn our trips to ATL for chemo into us flying around the cancer center in a wheelchair while laughing and carrying on, then it’s safe to say that nothing was really out of bounds. I will say that she never really appreciated my wheelchair driving.
I loved that she was able to gracefully make fun of herself - she never took herself too seriously. She would wave at someone and then do that really squawky sound as she pointed out her flappy arm fat. Then she’d really draw attention by energetically waving to everyone saying she was a flying squirrel. Or the time we were in Disney World and we rode this crazy coaster that put us in a little car that moved through — Winnie the Pooh I think, really scary… There was a part of the ride that I noticed had a mirror as we slowly rode past it. I then realize mom is waving frantically and saying “Oh that lady has the same shirt as me!” I had never laughed so hard while I tried to explain she had been looking at herself in the mirror.
She was just the best to be around and she would often surprise me with details about herself here and there. I didn’t find out until this past fall that before she got into a bad car accident when she was around 17 years old, that she had been taking flying lessons and originally wanted to become a pilot. Can you imagine mom as a pilot? She would have to work for Southwest or something because there is zero chance that she would conform to those boring rants they have to do on those other commercial flights. She had way too much twang - I don’t even know if they’d be able to understand her. And does anyone know if there was a height requirement, because that could also be a problem. At all of her doctor’s appointments, she would try her BEST to tell them she was 5’1”. I guess it didn’t matter much because they never checked and I got tired of correcting her, so I stopped. It obviously meant a lot to her, so over the last year, I gave her those precious 2 inches.
I know there are so many stories that are worth sharing from Vegas, the beach, childhood, parenthood, and everything in between that we’d be here all day reminiscing about her and how much we will miss her. I hope we continue to talk about her - all the time. The bottom line was that she loved to laugh. If she was laughing, she was having fun. I hope that we can take a lesson away from her in that you should retire early if you can, because you never know what life will bring after that long sought after retirement. Then take all of the trips, eat all of the cake, and finally, fried chicken everyday is acceptable - especially if it’s her mama’s or from bojangles.
Our family really appreciates all of you coming out here to remember and celebrate mama. She would be be grateful and humbled, and maybe surprised to see a few faces. And we are grateful and humbled too, but not surprised at the faces. She was loved beyond measure.
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